UnHuman

Chapter 27

"so what do i do now" quietly and slowly

calmly

I perk up from Mckinnon's shoulders and stand straight up

i knew for certain that i was feeling weird

weird about this whole situation

about noah

mom

she was a cyclops

and now i am too

i feel guilty

for all of those nasty words i meant for noah

all he was trying to was help me

and i was being selfish

as usual

and i could let this happen any longer

going on like i don't like noah

because i like noah

as a friend

but now he hates my guts

and i know why

because i was being rude and mean towards him

he was just doing his job mckinnon said

give him a chance.

yeah okay

and its wierd

because since he still hasn't came out of his room

crazy right

exactly. 

and i dont know what to do now

im stuck

there are two things I could do

go to noah and just have a talk.

apoigize maybe?

would he forgive me at all?

maybe hes too mad to see my face

maybe he would try to hurt me

kill me

but no. because noah was just noah.

he wanted to watch me. because he knew mom was in danger.

this has happened all too quickly.

being here

ive grown up

realized how to care for others

and not be self absorbent in your own skin

I wonder what Camile is doing

i mean i guess i could use a friend right now

or do i just leave noah like planned and keep acting like i don't know anything.

when actually i know everything now

will noah notice anything? will Camile? will he ask? will he still be mad at everything? 

yes

probably

which i wouldnt find a surprise

but last night was different than everything

when i was bleeding and aching and hurting. he just

just

stood there

peering over me

wjust watching

i was hurting. and he stood there. how was he helping me all along when he did that?

on purpose or what?

thats the thing. i dont know. i dont know what was with him last night. he was acting like an asshole. it was bad. lunch lady. get to work. i heard they work until really late he had said

i didnt get him?

was he being like this to get to my head again?

or was he just being mean

really mean

i will never know

not unless i talk to him

but no

because even though yes all that time in new york he had a reason to be there. to stare at me. flirt. but now. no. he could be just noah around me. and he's acting weird

and crazy. and delusional. 

maybe from the fight. maybe hes still not over that.

but he knows that he's being weird too. because this is not normal

normal noah

commander even said so. he had never acted like this

this before

never ever.

so it was weird

to everyone

no one was used to him acted like this

maybe because i was here

he didn't like it

but he brought me here?

or maybe he was just mourning my moms death?

but no

because i am the daughter. only one. so why would he be like this?

and i wanted to find out.

because yes i genuinely wanted to talk to noah

i didn't want to fight. i just wanted to sit down and talk all of this through

explain why he was acting like this

but i knew it could never be true

because he wouldnt come out of his room

and he wouldn't talk to me. he just sat there staring at the walls in front of me

weird noah

so i had to do one thing

and no thing only

would i be strong enough to do it?

yes or no?

Mckinnon speaks quietly snapping out of my trance. 

"talk to the boy. talk to noah. go to his room. speak quietly. nicely don't scream. dont yell. just talk. if he doesn't respond even better. explain what you know from me. explain everything. how you're feeling. it's the only thing you can do Clara"

"im sorry that noah wont talk. im sorry he won't say anything or come out of his room. but he never ever acted like this before. he loves it here. everything. it's an adjustment. now he just sits in his room all day. maybe he's shocked from you're mishap. he was supposed to help you. and he failed. so. he might feel guilty. which i'm not sure of quite frankly.knock on the door and then go. tell him about your mom. how much you loved her. mourn with him

and with that

i nod

because noah

was who i was about to see next

his face

his face which would be covered in angriness and fear

thats what it looked like for me

and it was true

i had to talk to noah

one way or another

and he would too.