11/23

Hashtag 08

#MemoriesThatBurn

"Most burning memories that pierce through can melt a freezing heart."

-x-

Unfortunately, Jhing didn't end up dead on the spot.

Walang ten wheeler truck na makakapagligtas sa kanya sa senaryo. No que horror o kahit man lang fade to black and fade in to the scene where she discovered that everything was just a dream.

Pucha talaga.

Hindi panaginip, eh.

Miko really was hard to forget. The broken pieces were still deep inside, but Jhing couldn't feel any hurt anymore.

Namamanhid siya? No.

Puro kahihiyan na kasi ang nararamdaman niya.

Literal.

Lalo na't inulan siya ng mga tanong pagkauwi, from emails, to texts at kahit chat sa bago niyang Facebook. She was bombarded with intense reactions from her co-editors like, "ANO YUN" or "YOU KNOW EACH OTHER?" some "IKAW BA NAGSABING WAG SIYA MAGSALITA?", "GULAT AKO SYET MIKO AND YOU? IS THERE SOMETHING GOING ON" and "SI MELKI? IKAW? HUH?"

Thankful she was not close to some, hindi siya inusisa. Although Miss Vams' at Miss Stels' stares made her nervous. Even Miss Zue and Sir Franz looked at her with questions in their eyes, hindi lang nagtanong.

Pero ang pinakamalala?

July's smile when she whispered, "sabi ko na, eh."

Ito ang pinaka-iniiwasan niya: the people prying, asking and telling her what to do, telling her the despicable action she had done and telling her to get her shit right.

"Wala lang 'yun," was Jhing's reply. Nagmumukha na nga siyang defensive for the past few days. Good thing Miko was absent after that day. Medyo nabawasan ang intense kahihiyan.

Medyo.

It was still there. Nanunuot sa kaibuturan ng kasu-kasuan niya.

"Anong wala," akusa ni July at inikot ang upuan ni Jhing para magkaharap. "Mayroon, eh! Obvious, girl. Sabi na may something, eh."

Inikot ni Jhing ang sariling inuupuan para humarap muli sa computer. "Wala 'yun."

"Wala raw. . . "

"Wala."

"Fine!" July laughed, hands held up. "Fine. Kumbinsihin mong wala. Sooner or later, lalabas din kung ano mang mayroon."

One of the things she didn't want to happen.

Not that there's truth about anything because there was none.

Pagpasok ni Miko a few days after, nalimutan na rin ng lahat ang pangyayaring whiteboard: permission to talk incident – o baka hindi nalimutan, but people didn't talk about it anymore.

Jhing was thankful.

But not too much when early in the morning, ang tumambad sa kanyang table ay baso ng shake.

"Hmm," July hummed from the side. "Anong flavor?"

Jhing held the cup. "Sa'yo na lang." Nilapit niya ito sa kasamahan.

"Girl, wag. Sa'yo binigay, eh," July laughingly said.

Tae talaga.

"Ayaw ko ng shake."