Fury of the Sun

20. Hollow

The sky seemed to glow as the brilliant red sun peeked over the horizon. I held my hands up, and the sunlight shone through the skin between my fingers, giving them a reddish outline. They seemed so flimsy. I ran my hand over my face and through my hair for the millionth time. I couldn't help it. So much was different, and though I was now adapting quickly to this form, it was difficult.

The sunrise warmed my chilled body. I wore some of Astrid's old clothes, but they were too big for my smaller frame, and the cold sea breeze whipped through them easily. My feet hung over the edge of the cliff where I sat, the very same one where I had slept my first night in Berk.

I heard footsteps behind me, and turned partway to look. It was Jack. There were bags under his bloodshot eyes. He smiled wearily, and sat cross-legged beside me.

"Hey," he said.
"Hey."
"Couldn't sleep?"
"Too much going on up here," I replied, putting a finger to my temple.
He smiled sourly. "Same. I can't stop thinking about... what I did. You know. Orvask."

He said his uncle's name quietly. "Do you regret it?" I asked in an equally quiet voice, after a few moments. He looked out across the waves, squinting as the sunlight reflected off the water and into his eyes. "No," he said after a moment. "No, I don't."

I nodded. We sat in silence, watching the sun. Sparse clouds lingered low in the sky, but as we watched they melted away. The day promised to be warm. "Gods, I hope it was worth it," I whispered, feeling a now-familiar sense of loss. Jack looked at me, his face serious. "Me too, ___."

"Me too."

***

It was almost two weeks after Astrid's funeral. It was late - or rather, early - it was after midnight, and I'd had another sleepless night, so I was heading to the Great Hall to read for a few hours. The fire pits would have almost gone out, but the warmth usually still lingered for a long time. Reading had become one of my favourite pastimes; there was so much to learn in the pages, but I struggled a lot with the symbols.

When I pushed open the large doors, my first thought was that a dragon must have cracked into the ale stores. Foamy drink was spilled all over the floor around the door, and there were a number of cracked mugs lying nearby. Astonished, I stepped inside and leaned down to examine the smashed cups. A groan from my left startled me. A figure was lying prone on the floor, clearly soaked in ale. I walked closer cautiously, and realised with a sinking feeling who it was. "Gods, Hiccup," I said simply, amazed and more than a little disturbed to find him in such a state. I hadn't figured him as a drinker.

I knelt down, grabbed him by the armpits, and dragged him upright. "Oof...! You're heavier than you look!" I huffed as his dead-weight settled on me. I walked a few steps, but my legs began shaking madly and I had to put him down. He groaned and turned over, blinking to focus his eyes. "Astrid? Astrid, don't leave," he murmured. My heart seemed to beat painfully against my ribs. I felt so much pity for him. "Come on buddy," I said, keeping my tone light. "Where's Toothless? Please tell me you didn't let him get to the drink." I heard a soft crooning from the doorway. Toothless' head popped in, and he looked very anxious for Hiccup. I strode over to him and stroked his head. "Come on, let's get Hiccup home."

I dragged Hiccup onto Toothless' back, then walked beside the dragon to Hiccup's house. I stood watching Hiccup as Toothless slid him onto one of the long benches beside the fire. I enveloped Hiccup in furs, and, leaving Toothless to watch him I slunk away into the deep night.

***

I avoided Hiccup as much as I could. I felt guilty for some reason, and embarrassed that I'd seen - and had to deal with - him in such a drunken state. It was a few weeks before events forced us together.