All I Wanted: A Joshayley Fanfic

Chapter 4 - Hello, Hello? Just Pick Up The Phone‏

*HAYLEY'S POV*

Ring, ring!

Ring, ring!

Ring, -

"Urgh," I moaned, propping myself up onto my elbows to reach for the phone.

I was lying on the carpet with Chad next to me; we'd watched the end of Pet Sematary and I supposed we must have fallen asleep down there. His heavy arm was draped around my middle. I put the phone between my shoulder and my head, using both hands to squeeze myself out of his iron grip. Who would be calling this late? It was midnight.

"Hello?" I asked distractedly; Chad's arm must have weighed twenty pounds. It was a wonder I hadn't been woken by it earlier.

Hearing an intake of breath on the other end of the line, I hesitated in my struggle. "Hello, hello?" I repeated.

Was this some kind of prank call? I bet it was some kids mucking around with a phone box. Yes, it's just hilarious to drag some poor stranger from their slumber in the middle of the night just to listen to them greeting you tiredly down the phone.

"Hayley?"

I gasped. The voice was distorted and so faint it was almost imperceptible, but I would have recognised it at any time of day.

"Josh?"

There was a pregnant pause. I glanced at Chad, who was snoring loudly, and with a gigantic heave, managed to extract myself from his hold. I rushed to the bathroom, locked myself in with my free hand and sat down on the closed lid of the toilet, breathing heavily. My mind was racing, my heart beating flat-out.

"Hayley. Uh," Josh finally spoke again. I could picture him squirming uncomfortably. "I know this is well, well overdue, but seeing you at the funeral today... It really made me think that we need to talk about a lot of stuff. Uh," I heard him shuffle a bit. "I realise you might not want to speak to me. But..." A brief cough. A sigh. "Hayley, I don't want to be mad anymore. Losing Zac has made me realise that. I just want to talk to you."

I remained speechless. I was utterly dumbfounded.

"Uh, Hayley?" Another pause. "You still there?"

"You're right," I replied severely, surprising myself. Was it me saying this? "This is well overdue."

There was a stunned silence. I clamped my hand over my mouth, but the words were already out. Dammit, Hayley, I fumed. What did you go and do that for?

Josh sounded angry. Whether at me or at himself, I couldn't tell. "You know what - I shouldn't have called anyway. Just forget it -"

"No, wait! Josh!" I exclaimed. Christ, why did I have to have said that? Please don't hang up, please don't hang up, please don't hang up, I chanted silently. "I'm sorry; that was childish. Please don't go. I want to talk to you, too."

Yet another pause. I wondered if I was too late and he had already disconnected the call, but I could hear him breathing at the other end. I waited.

"Okay," he said at last. "Uh, do you want to meet somewhere? I'm in Franklin all week. We could go to the coffee shop on the corner by the mall, if you wanted, or..." He trailed off expectantly, like he wanted me to make a suggestion. I could tell he was trying extremely hard not to say something dangerous; he sounded constrained, as if he was constantly reigning himself in.

"No, no, the coffee shop's just fine. Um, what time is suitable for you?" Why was I being so formal?

There was the slightest trace of a smile in his voice. "How about tomorrow, let's say, 10 o'clock?"

"Sure thing. Um, see you tomorrow, I guess."

"Yeah... See you tomorrow."

I was just about to hang up when I put the phone back to my ear. "Oh, and Josh?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm... I'm really sorry about Zac. I know 'sorry' isn't going to make you feel better - it doesn't do anything for me either - and... Well, despite what you may think about me, and even after everything that happened... I really cared about him, Josh. And I'm sorry."

"Thank you," he said softly. Simply.

And then he hung up.

You blew up the world I built for us
Destroyed our secret universe
Threw out the trust I put in you
Making me feel like I'd been used
And now I'm reminded
That I was just blinded

Hello, hello?
Is anyone home?
Hello, hello?
Just pick up the phone
You'll be sorry to hear
I'm doing fine now
Sorry to hear
You're without me now