wanted (phan) || book #3

thirteen

(a/n: really cool and talented side-view art of Dan by amazingphone)

D A N ' S  P O V

"We aren't doing this."

"We are doing this," Phil shot back.

I glared at my boyfriend from the couch, my head on Oli's lap while Matthew sat in his own chair, fidgeting with his hands nervously. Layla sat on the counter, Alex leaning on Oliver's shoulder with Phil across from me.

"This isn't some kind of support group, Philip," I snarled.

"Please. We can't save ourselves if we aren't helping each other in the process. We could at least try it. Talk about something simple, maybe."

I shot up, trying to get it over with. I clenched my fists and began.

"I'm Dan. I used to be a swimmer. I used to be happy. I used to have a mom. But my boyfriend shot her," I chuckled, hiding my true anger. "I also shot a guy in the head to save my serial killer boyfriend, but that's normal, right? I have shit anxiety, a mind that doesn't like to shut up, and eyes that like to cry a lot. I like boys, I used to like the color pink but now it reminds me of the good times. My brother and only best friend was also killed by my boyfriend, and now I'm standing here spilling to my fucking problems to people who were raised in a goddamn asylum!" I screamed the last sentence, kicking the table over and knocking the glass over. It was dead silent, everybody's eyes wide and on me.

I spun on my heel and marched towards the door, swinging it open and sprinting out.

I ran and ran down the vacant neighborhood, the clouds gray and the pebbles following my feet. I found myself near a small pond and without really knowing what I was doing, I peeled my shirt off and ducked my head underwater.

And then I screamed.

I screamed and screamed, only coming up for more air. I could barely even scream, however, my throat still damaged from the explosion. I was crying but my tears were only adding on to the pond that belonged to the fish, bubbles being the only sign of my pain.

When I was calm I looked up to see none other than Phil Lester running towards at me at full speed yelling. I furrowed my eyebrows but then noticed he had a phone in his hand, and when he caught up to me he leaned over, panting.

"What? What is it?"

"They called."

"Who? Who called? Phil, what's going on?" I stood up, pulling my shirt on and drying my hair off.

"They have your dad. Dan, they fucking kidnapped your father."

I gritted my teeth. "Where is he?"

"They have him on top of the Metropolitan Square."

"Stay here." I began to stomp back to the house but Phil grabbed my sleeve.

"What? I'm coming with you."

I spun around to glare at him. "You don't get it; it's a trap. They're gonna push him off either way. It's me they want, not you. If something happens to us, the rest of the group won't have anybody. This is my family, not yours. Let me do this on my own."

"This is suicide, Dan. I can't lose you again."

I kissed his forehead and headed back to the house, snatching my backpack and digging through it. I threw on a bulletproof vest with a black shirt over it, dragging on my boots. I laced them up and snatched a pistol, shoving it into my belt hook.

The others hurried in, Alex speaking up first.

"You aren't going by yourself, right?" I stood up and they paused. "No. Dan, no, are you crazy? You don't know how many of them there are-"

"It doesn't matter. I'm not going to lose my friends and my dad in the same day. That's what they want. That's why they didn't just kill him, they're waiting so I'll show up with friends and they'll kill you all."

"But it's our job to protect-"

"Protect me?" I cut Oliver off. "No, it's your job to help. I never asked you to walk right into a death wish for me." I began to push past them but Matthew stopped me.

"Wait," he breathed. I raised an eyebrow at him and watched him pull a very nice and sharp knife out of his pocket, holding it out toward me. "I was keeping it in fear that something would happen and I would have to defend myself from you guys but. . . I trust you now. You guys are like my family, and family is there fore each other, and right now you need this more than me."

I exhaled before taking it from him, tucking it into the pocket of my vest before smiling down at him. "You're something else, y'know that?"

"Can we at least get a group hug before you go?" Layla questioned. I giggled and we all hugged. After I pulled away, I nodded at them one last time before leaving the room.

I pulled the hood over my head and trailed downstairs, finding Phil in the doorway.

"Please be safe," Phil spoke softly. "I'm sorry if I upset you earlier, I was just trying to help. I really love you and I didn't mean to. . ."

I forced a lopsided smile, pulling him into a hug. "It's okay."

"It's not. . . I realize our relationship hasn't been the perfect puzzle lately, but I promise I'll find the missing piece and make it right again. I want to make it up to you. I want to take you out to a romantic dinner, show you off to all the girls and boys. . . you're special and I want everyone to acknowledge that."

I kissed the top of Phil's head, keeping him in my arms. "Phil, you know we don't have time. . ."

Phil just shook his head, then looked up at me. "Promise me you'll come back to me."

I felt him reach down and his fingertips glide against my wrist, latching onto my white bracelet. I looked down and my smile dropped.

I didn't reply, just simply pressed my lips to his and squeezed his hand one last time before walking out the door. Phil and I locked eyes once more before the door cut us off, and I stared at the now shut door for awhile, eyes watering.

I reached out and touched the material, whispering. "I love you."

What I didn't know was that the boy on the other side of the door was saying the exact same thing.