paper thin (phan)

s i x

tw// short anxiety attack

"I don't like this new side of him."

Dan woke up to the voice outside his room, the sound belonging to his father. He yawned, sitting up but staying quiet.

"He's just a kid, John, he'll get over it," he heard his mother whisper.

"But he's always been a good kid! Now suddenly he's lying, failing tests and ditching school all together? Something's up, Maria, and you know it."

"Maybe there is something going on, but we are not going to force him to talk about it. What we will do is be supportive parents and make sure he's okay."

Dan scoffed. "Supportive?" He mumbled to himself, amused at their self-centered aura.

"Eavesdropping? That's new."

Dan jumped at the voice behind him, whipping around to see his stepbrother in front of him with a smirk.

"Shut u-up, Christopher. Don't you have some video games to play?" Dan teased.

"What, am I now allowed to wanna talk to my baby brother?"

"Baby? I'm in highschool."

"And I'm in college. Your point?"

"I hate you," Daniel groaned. "Look, I'm gonna go to the treehouse. Cover for me?"

Chris nodded, noticing the desperate look in Dan's eyes. Since they were fairly close in age, Chris understood what it was like to be a teen and spoiled Dan with advice and permission to do pretty much anything.

Dan muttered a thank you before grabbing his sketchbook and pencil before sneaking out. He quickly hobbled over to the treehouse, climbing up and leaning against the side of it. Dan then slid out his journal, beginning to draw whatever he could think of.

And then he heard footsteps outside the treehouse. He froze, heart beginning to beat faster upon the new presence. He turned off the lantern next to him, the only light in the wooden home, then crouched down and peeked through the window.

Phil was picking at a box of cigarettes, Marlboro in fact, pulling out one and grabbing his lighter from his pocket. The boy struggled to flip it on, trying to turn it on, but it wouldn't budge. He groaned, throwing the lighter down.

"Cheap piece of shit," he hissed under his breath, and suddenly he was tiptoeing towards the treehouse. Dan held his breath, trying to think of an escape route, but then the lantern turned on and they both screamed once the two were revealed to each other. "Dan, why the hell are you just sitting here in the dark?"

"I was hiding," he snapped, still angry with Phil because of the cafeteria incident. "Now g-get out. We got back after midnight, so you aren't allowed here anymore."

"I have no place else to go."

"Asher's having another party tonight, why d-don't you go there and watch somebody e-else get bullied?"

"Dan-"

He stood up, stepping closer to Phil and glaring. "No. You aren't allowed to try and apologize when you had all this time to. You just freaking sat there while I nearly h-had a breakdown. You laughed along. If you're scared of ruining your reputation, then just stop hanging out w-with me! You're the one that started all of this by coming up to my locker that day!"

"Sorry for worrying about you! God, you were always like this! Any time I tried to take care of you or was a little overprotective, you blew up on me. At least you have people who give a shit about you, you ungrateful jerk! At least you have parents- even if they're not your real ones! Oh well if your real ones gave you up, you've got new ones that love you just as your birth ones should! My dad left us, and my mom drinks like there's no tomorrow. You don't understand."

"I don't understand? I don't understand? You're the one that sleeps with people then drops them! You wouldn't u-understand what it's like to have empathy! O-or feelings at all!" His fists were clenched and chest was heaving.

"I'm a virgin!" Phil shouted before he could stop it. Dan shut his mouth, fists still clenched. "That's right. Because little Mr. Howell doesn't believe rumors, huh? Well there you go. Why don't you go get your sweet revenge by telling everybody that the school whore isn't one at all?"

Dan began to shake. Phil was yelling at him, anger fueled up behind his pale skin. It was scaring him, their verbal fight echoing throughout the neighborhood. He was scared they'd wake a neighbor, but Dan was afraid to confront the boy in front of him. Dan thought he'd finally stop screaming until he piped up again.

"You don't put thought into things, do you? You didn't think that, even for a second, I wasn't as bad as everybody set me out to be? I am just as human and full of emotion as you are. How someone uses their body shouldn't change that. Everything ticks back to you! One situation relates to an old one of yours, it's always you."

"Shut up! That's n-not true!" His voice was breaking. "Shut up, shut up, shut up!"

"Why don't you make me? Make me just like you did with Jason!" Phil challenged, and Dan grabbed Phil by the jacket and shoved him to the side of the treehouse. He hit the wood, panting whilst being pinned to the wall by the shorter boy. "Do it. Hit me."

"I'm not gonna h-hit. . . hit y-y-you, I wouldn't. . ." he couldn't breathe, scared of what overcame him and told him that it was okay to physically hurt somebody. Flashbacks of Jason throwing him into lockers and punching him into a bathroom wall flooded through his throbbing head, and he felt tears beginning to stream down his cheeks. He clung to Phil though, except rather than out of anger, it was out of fear.

"Dan? What's wrong? I didn't mean to do anything. . . I was just angry, I-" he cut himself off when he noticed Dan failing to breathe, short high-pitched whimpers tumbling out of his lips. Phil furrowed his eyebrows. "Sit down."

Dan did, curling up in a ball. And cautiously, Phil sat next to him, slowly wrapping an arm around his shoulder. "Come here. It's okay."

"It's n-n-not." Dan cried, leaning into Phil's touched but squeezing his eyes shut. He fell into his lap and Phil began petting his hair with one hand, the other rubbing his back. He shushed him softly.

"Then it will be."

Dan calmed down a bit, still crying but silently now.

"Phil," he whispered, his voice trembling. Phil hummed a tired response, his back leaned against the wall. "I'll help you avoid your mom if you help me find my real one."

Phil chuckled softly.

"Deal."