paper thin (phan)

e i g h t e e n

tw// physical fighting, mentions of past abuse

It was when Phil was walking home that he got sad. And not just a little frown and watery eyes, this was full on sobbing and body trembling. It wasn't even really for a reason either, he was just overthinking and it got the best of him.

It was past midnight and he had dropped Dan back at his house after he sobered up and was now on his way to his own place. It was pouring down rain but Phil wasn't sober to drive nor did he have his licence so he stuck with walking. He wiped at his face, his body cold from the freezing rain drops brushing his skin.

Cars passed by, crickets chirping and owls hooting. But he froze when he heard yelling slip out of the open car's window that drove by him. His grip on his cigarette between his fingers tightened.

"Is that Phil Lester?"

Phil darted his eyes to look in the rearview mirror of the vehicle and saw none other than Jason and his crew in the car. He gulped and the car stopped at a stop sign and Phil thought he was safe until suddenly it was turning back around and coming towards Phil.

Phil was running as fast as he could the other way, his feet slippery on the wet pavement. His tobacco slipped from his hand but there was no use now, he was too scared to stop now. His breath came out in hot pants above him, his shoes stomping as the ground as he sprinted down the sidewalk. He could see the reflection of the headlights in the corner of his eye and he turned a corner, only to see it was a dead end of the alley.

He tensed as he listened to the car pull up behind him and slowly turned around, watching in fear as four boys stepped out of the vehicle with their fists clenched and moved towards the helpless boy.

"You been crying, Lester? What's the matter? Dan finally kill himself?"

Phil was shaking, backing up until his back pressed against the damp brick wall. "Please, my mother is worried about me-" he lied through gritted teeth. "It's late, just let me go home." He held onto the edges of his soaked biker jacket, trying to keep his sense of reality in check.

"I may go to a different school now, but I still live in the same state. So, you see, I can't do that because you're happy now and you don't deserve that. You're just an annoying little fag with no sense of emotion or knowledge. You're dumb, you're stupid, and it's not just your disorder that states that. We all know you fail those tests all on your own."

"I never meant to hurt you, Jason, I just wanted to protect Dan."

"No, you wanted to protect yourself," Jace snarled, glaring at the boy in front of him. "You were oh so worried about your pointless reputation and popularity that you never noticed how anybody else felt. I was always in your shadow. I was just your scary friend. You had all the girls and boys in your bed while I was just your irrelevant wingman. Well now you're gonna be in my shadow."

"Get away from m-me," Phil sniffled, squeezing his eyes shut.

But it was too late, because suddenly they were swinging punches and throwing kicks and Phil was on the ground sobbing.

❦

"If you ever come home smelling like alcohol again, you'll be grounded for a month!"

Dan slammed the door to his house shut, throwing his raincoat over his head with a hidden beer bottle in his pocket. He knew he shouldn't be drinking so much in one night, but after the fight with his parents, he was annoyed and needed a distraction. He uncapped the bottle as he made his way to the park, taking a sip and nearly choking when he heard a scream down the street.