Gravity

4

AUTHOR's POV

"Ayoko na, Alden."

Those words keep resounding in his head as he made his way to the parking lot. Tears kept flowing his eyes, as he felt Maine's words shatter his already fragile heart.

How can she be so heartless? For 5 years he kept on loving her, cause that's what he's best at. He gave his all. He was ready to give it all up just for her.

He frantically opened his car door, fishing for the keys in his pocket, hoping nobody was around to see him sobbing. After a few moments, he entered his car and put his head down on the steering wheel. His eyes overflowed with tears, as his heart bled for Maine. If only he could mend things with her.

This was never supposed to happen. They were supposed to have successful careers, get married, have 2 kids and live happily ever after. But he anticipated wrong. What started as a happy accident on screen now has become a painful tragedy. His heart was torn in an instant, with only just three words.

"Ayoko na, Alden."

Those three words came in like a hurricane, destroying everything in its path, leaving nothing unturned.

He saw his future with Maine suddenly vanish, creeping off his grip. He saw only longing for freedom in her eyes. And all he could do was grant her wish, because he loved her that much.

He rested his palm on the sides of his thighs, and he felt something.

The ring. The engagement ring.

Today, he was supposed to propose to her. But, this happened.

But, he wasn't a man who gave up quickly, easily. So he hurriedly got off his car, and ran up to her condo. He called out her name and kept banging on the door. There was no answer. If only he knew that she was on the other side, sobbing on the floor, leaning on the door with her head between her knees.

"I'm sorry, Alden."

It was all she could mutter.

It wasn't easy for her to let go, but it had to be done. Or else they'd be stuck.

"Maine, please. Please, take me back. I can't lose you."

He went down on his knees, still knocking on the door. Bruises started to form on his knuckles as he went on. She couldn't take this anymore. She needs to free him from this. She quickly opened the door and shouted at him, trying to make him understand one last time.

"Alden, ano ba? Umalis ka na please! Wag mo nang pahirapan ang sarili-"

"Will you marry me?"

"Wha..what?"

"I said, will you marry me?"

He was down on one knee, ring on one hand and his eyes were continually sobbing, pleading for her to take him back. Maybe this was his last chance to keep her, to make her stay in his life.

"I'm sorry Alden. I can't accept that."

She said, closing the door to his face. She was unable to contain herself and fell on her knees. Awang-awa siya kay Alden.

"Ano ba tong ginawa ko.."

She muttered to herself as she continued to cry in pain. He still kept banging on her door for 5 hours until he finally had the courage to give up. But still, his tears never kept flowing, even up to the time he got home. He wanted to be alone. He wanted to wallow by himself.

ALDEN's POV

I just don't get it. May pagkukulang ba ako? As far as I know, I've given my 100% in our relationship. 200% pa nga kung kaya. Pero bakit parang kulang parin sakanya? Bakit parang di pa rin sapat yung lahat ng effort ko?

Maine said she needed to find herself again. I understand that. I even offered to help her kasi ganon ko sya kamahal. I am willing to sacrifice everything in me just to make her stay-- even my career na puhunan ko ang dugo't pawis ko. I love her so much that she's the very essence of my being. She was my lifeline, my strength and losing her made me feel helpless, weak and unable to go on.

And now, I don't know where to go from here. I don't know what to do. Unconsciously, tears started to fall from my eyes again as I stared at our picture together. I always keep this is my wallet. This picture was taken 5 years ago. She snapped a photo of us on her polaroid when she agreed to be my girlfriend. Sobrang saya natin dito, Meng. You look so happy. Our smiles literally lit up everything around us. Pero anong nangyari?

"Kuya?"

I heard Rizza knock on the door. I quickly wiped the tears away and gently placed our picture on my bedside table.

"Oh?"

"Kuya, tinatanong ni daddy kung dito ka daw ba mag di-dinner?"

I used all my strength to get up from by bed and open the door. I am not physically weak, but all this emotional torture has left my body feeble.

Rizza entered my room and flashed me a smile. Wala pang nakakaalaman sa family ko kung anong nangyari samin ni Maine. I chose not to disclose anything to them yet because I feel like I could still save Maine and I's relationship.

"Pasabi naman Riz na hindi na. Aalis na din ako maya maya."

I faked a smile and hoped that my sister would not see the pain I am hiding behind it.

"Pupunta ka na naman kila ate Meng, noh?"

I only nodded my head in response. Riza slowly made her way towards my bed and sat beside me. She reached for my bedside table and held the picture I just put down. She looked at me then back at the photograph.

"Kuya, okay lang?"

"Huh?"

"Okay lang kung iiyak ka ngayon, maiintindihan ko."

"Anong pinagsasasabi mo dyan? Weird mo talaga, panget."

I hoped that didn't come out as forced as I willed it to be. I know Riza had a clue as to what is really happening with me.

"Kuya," Riza said softly, her voice with a hint of pleading.

"Alam kong nahihirapan ka na. Kitang kita ko sa mukha mo. Ang laki na din ng pinayat mo. Alam kong may problema ka. Kayo ni ate Maine."

Who am kidding? Of course I couldn't hide things from Riza. She's the closest to me and she reads me like an open book. I dropped all my pretenses and slowly made my way back to my bed and sat beside my sister. Riza placed a comforting hand on my lap and just looked at me, urging me to let it all out. And with a small voice, I started.

"Napapagod na ko, Riz."

And with those words, I can feel my heart cracking.

"Edi magpahinga ka, kuya. Pwede naman siguro yun diba?"

"But I can't, Riz. I can't lose Maine."

And that was when I broke down. All the hurt, the pent up emotions, the hidden pain, the exhaustion-- they all burst like an outstretched balloon, and I couldn't do anything to stop it. Rizza stayed silent for a minute, letting me just cry in her presence.

"I understand, kuya"

She softly murmured as she enveloped me in a hug. And all I could was hang on to her as if she was my lifeline.

"I came across this quote on the internet one time. Sabi sa quote 'if you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they are yours. If they don't, then they never were'. I think it's time, kuya, na ibigay mo kay ate Meng kung ano man yung hinihingi nya. Kasi alam mo kuya? The more you hold on to her, the more she'll let you go. Hayaan mo syang hanapin kung ano man yung gusto nyang hanapin, kuya. Kung ayaw na nya sayo, wag mong ipagsiksikan yung sarili mo sakanya. Kasi habang hinahabol habol mo si ate Maime, nararamdaman kong unti unti ka na ding nawawala samin, kuya. Unti unti nang nawawala yung Richard na minahal namin lahat. At miss na miss na kita, kuya. Sana, bumalik na yung dating ikaw. Sana, kahit wala na si ate Maine sayo, isipin mo na marami pang nagmamahal sayo. Sana marealize mo soon na andito lang kami palagi sayo, kuya" 

I just stayed silent and sobbed. I cried for so many reasons. I cried for my broken heart. I cried for the broken dreams I had for us. I cried for the possibility of having a future with her. But on top of it all, I cried for my torn up heart which is slowly learning how to accept, how to move on.