Giving up Rachel

Chapter Four

Matt looked at me, shock clearly evident on his face, not that I could blame him, who expects to take a girl out on a date only to have her tell you she's in love with someone when you make a move on her.

Though he had no clue, that I was just as shocked by my own words as he was. I suppose I had thought about the possibility of it, but I had always denied it. Trying to convince myself it was just a crush, that it would soon pass.

Feeling completely guilty, especially when he didn't respond to me, I opened my mouth and just started apologising, not knowing what else to say, "I'm so sorry Matt. I didn't mean to lead you on, I swear-"

"Shhh. Come here it's okay." To my surprise Matt engulfed me in his arms, cutting me off, and I couldn't help but melt into his embrace. We stayed there for a few minutes just hugging, enjoying one another's company, both content with just staying like this. "Who is it?" he asked in a gentle tone, though I felt his body tense. Something about Matt made me want to open up and tell him everything, but I was still very reluctant to tell him everything.

"Rachel." I said into his shoulder, I might as well admit everything, he deserved to know the truth, plus it felt so good to just admit it and get it off my chest. Her name seemed to relax at him, as if he didn't mind that it was her.

"Makes sense. You two are so close. Actually, you'd make a really good couple." I didn't need to see his face to tell he was smiling, which made a small smile form on my face, we might make a good couple.

He chuckled, which only made me lean back from the comfort of his arms, to stare at him, a frown on my face."What's funny?" I asked him, finding nothing about this situation even remotely funny.

He smiled at me and pushed my hair back behind my ears, as he shook his head softly at me. "I've known you for ten years Alex, and I have never seen you like this. The Alex I know used to walk around with her hands on her hips, proclaiming to the world that she would never fall in love. That love was for the weak hearted."

He sighed and pulled me back into a hug, "I always thought that I would be the one to change your views. I wanted to be the one you feel in love with. It took me five years just to work up the courage to ask you out."

"I'm so sorry Matt." I mumbled, finding it extremely hard to talk right now, between his tight hug, the lump in my throat and the tears that threatened to fall.

"Don't be Alex. Just answer me one thing." He said to me, making me look at him, he was smiling softly at me, but I could still see the sadness in his eyes, and as much as I wished I could make it disappear there was nothing I could do.

"Anything."

"Does she know?"

"No."

"You should tell her."

Letting out a deep sigh, I knew he was right, she should know, she had a right to know how I felt about her, and even if I didn't want to hear it, it would be best to know how she felt about me, even if she didn't feel the same way, "I know." We remained hugging in silence for a few minutes before Matt spoke.

"You better go it's late. I don't want to get you in trouble with your mum."

I unwrapped my arms from around him, and checked the time, I was already later then I said I would be, which she would not be too happy about. Looking away from the clock I turned my attention to Matt, I smiled at him before opening the car door. "Thanks, for everything."

Just as I climbed out of the car Matt called to me, I turned around to face him, the smile on his face making me smile back at him, "Yeah?" I asked him, as I pulled my leather jacket closer around my body, the chill winds hitting me.