Giving up Rachel

Chapter Five

Jumping out of my bed, I pulled a hoodie on over my PJ's and slipped on my boots, and practically ran down the stairs two at a time, I grabbed my mums car keys, grateful for finally having passed my driving test. Three times lucky.

"Good luck Alex honey." My mum shouted at me from the living room. I giggled, I'm not usually a giggly girl but I think the adrenaline and the nerves were taking over, as the butterflies continued to grow in my stomach. I unlocked my mums car and climbed into the drivers seat, checking the mirrors and and putting my seatbelt on, I turned the ignition and drove, well above the speed limit, to Rachel's.

The drive only gave me time to think. Think about what I was going to say to Rachel, but no matter how hard I thought, I couldn't think of the right words to say to her, to explain how I felt. Words were just not enough. Also think about turning back and trying to forget all about this, but I just couldn't do that, I had to find the words to tell her how I felt.

"You mean the world to me." I whispered, practicing out loud what I was going to say to her, "I'm sorry about the other night, I just wasn't prepared for what I felt. You see, I'm in love with you Rach and I want you to be mine, for hopefully forever." I repeated it over and over, trying to memorise the words, as if knowing them by heart would calm my nerves.

Climbing out of the car, and locking it, I made my way up to the front door, letting out a deep breath as I raised my fist and slowly knocked on the door three times. This was it, there was no going back now. My heart was beating uncontrollably fast, my breathing was uneven and my palms were sweaty. I wiped my hands on my trousers and tried to steady my breathing, knowing that I wouldn't be able to speak if my breathing didn't return to normal.

Hearing footsteps near the door, I took a step back, thrusting my hands into my hoody pockets, the nerves getting the better of me. "Hey Rach." Her name came out as little more than a breath.

Her face lit up and she practically threw herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck, making me smile and wrap my arms around her waist. I felt a sense of bliss just being in her arms, and once more I was hit by that electric surge, and I loved it, it was like my body was about to fly, and I didn't want the feeling to fade.

Rachel pulled out of the hug, too soon for my liking, but made up for it by entwining her fingers with mine, leading me into her home. "I've missed you." Hearing those words made my heart skip a beat. She had no idea how much I had missed her, how I hadn't stopped thinking about her.

"Me too." I told her honestly, giving her a shy smile, which she returned with that beautiful smile of hers. She lead the way to her bedroom, her fingers still entwined with mine, and only let go of my hand to take a seat on the bed. She looked my up and down, a smile forming in the corners of her lips.

"Lex, why are you wearing your PJ's?" She asked me as she shook her head at me, and chuckled, making me look down and curse myself for not showering and getting changed before I came over.

"You know I make it work." I winked at her, making her laugh once more as she nudged my shoulder playfully. I smiled at the sound of it, knowing there was no better sound in the world then her laugh. It filled the room, and could instantly bring a smile to my face.

"So, are you here to apologise for ignoring me?" Though she was smiling, I could tell she was hurt by my actions, which only made me feel worse. I couldn't help the fact I had ignored her, I didn't have a choice. I needed the space to think and clear my head, and now my head was clear and I knew what I really wanted.

"Yeah sorry about that. I had... Um... A lot on my mind." I groaned internally at my own excuse. Though it was true, it was still a very bad excuse for shutting out your best friend and ignoring them for so long, especially when they hadn't done anything to deserve it.