The Secret of Eleven

Chapter 16

I wake up in a dark room. Is wake up the right phrase? I mean, I feel awake, but it's like I can't move my limbs. I can't feel my body. It's as if I'm living without it. My mind still exists; I can feel the rapid fire thoughts shooting throughout. Feelings, worries, sorrows, fears, angers, unfamiliarities, they're all running through my brain. My brain feels like its running faster than it ever has been, like its brand new. 

Its hard to understand anything, here without a body. I feel lighter, yet still weighted down. When I try to move I realize I have nothing to move and it makes everything harder. I try to look around but realize I'm already seeing everything, and am not limited by my line of eyesight. I have no neck to move. Even with my 360 degree vision I can see nothing. 

Something explodes. How do I know this? I can't hear it, feel it, see it, yet somehow I can sense it. A disturbance, something new. I'm floating, my mind is moving, or is it? I don't even know anymore. Everything looks the same, and I can't feel or hear movement. 

A speck appears. What is that? It gets larger, and brighter. It is an explosion. I blink but can't, hold my breath but have no breath to hold. It gets bigger. Or am I getting closer? Do I even exist in this reality? Is this even a reality?

I push down the questions. They're not helping me anywhere. I will myself towards the speck but I have no control over my movements, or what seem to be movements. 

The speck grows, and grows. It's a bright white, brighter than I could normally see, yet I can't look away, physically or mentally. It's a mesmerizing bright light, hypnotizing, pulling me into its glow. Figures start to form in the white, scenes. 

Lorien, the day before it fell. It's beutiful, green and lush, the oceans lapping away while the animals play. My people are having fun, everywhere. There's no cause for concern. Nothing seems like it could ruin it.

In a second it's whisked away, replaced by something else. Something I had almost forgotten. The day my Elecomun had appeared. I saw Cara and I, training. I had already begun to get more physically capable than normal humans. We were in a rural area, no one could see us. It was hot, and we were both sweating, tired. Cara came at me, and I tried to swing with my fist but out of my fist came white hot bolts of electricity. They struck her, and she fell, only to come back up again two seconds later, laughing. 

Again, the scene disappears, replaced by something else. Spain. I'm fighting with the girls, helping them. The stormy girl, Six, flashes an almost smile at me as we kill Mogs. My euphoria increases. 

Then the scene changes. Multiple more come, sped over, quick. Meeting the rest of the Garde, finding Thirteen and Twelve. As this happens the white tint and background turn darker, into a sinister black, a suffocating black. 

I see Setrakus Ra, the destroyer of my people, my enemy. His warships descending on Earth, firing on cities, attacking. The Garde fighting back, even Garde I hadn't seen before, the human Garde that I learned about in that vision with the Garde. 

Thirteen and Twelve, together. Happy. I want to cry but can't, want to scream but can't, want to die but can't. 

And then the background starts to turn light again. Pendants, John and the other Garde, refugee camps, Loralite rocks showing up all around the world. The blue entity I saw Setrakus Ra mining, large and powerful, spreading. The Mog ships firing on each other, leaving. 

Then the vision splits. I can see everywhere and nowhere, yet there are two distinct parts. Setrakus Ra beckoning towards me. His fat ugly face, with black beady eyes like a mouse, the glowing purple scar and pendants around his neck, clad in black armor with spikes spread on joints. He holds his hand out towards me, a gleam in his eye. 

Yet I also see John Smith, Six, Seven, Nine, and Ten, the dozens of human Garde behind them. They're beckoning towards me as well. I know what I have to do. I have to pick my people, I have to fight the Mogs. I have to kill the man who killed my family and everyone I loved. 

Then I see them. Smiling together, behind John Smith. They're on their side as well. Can I bear fighting with them, being close to them?

Setrakus Ra speaks, a deep mellow voice, "I am truly sorry for what I have done to you child. But what the Loric have done to you is so much worse. They took a small child, and here you are barely an adult, already a battle-ready warrior. I may have taken people that you loved, but was I as cruel as them? Your lover is with another, he is the one causing you this pain. Him and the Loric."

I stay central to both sides. I can't control my movements, but I can't help but think Setrakus Ra is right. Everything he says is true. Suddenly I jerk towards him. I have a body. I can think. And then John Smith says, "Do you truly want to fight against your people? We will never stop fighting against the Mogadorians. That is our mission."

He's right as well. I move towards him. My body fades out again, my thoughts slow down. Then I remember that he's just proving what Setrakus Ra said. We're teenagers, fighting in an intergalactic war that our ancestors started through their arrogance. We're battle-hardened and great fighters, but at what cost?

I close my eyes, end my vision. I have control over my body again. I have a body, thoughts at a normal speed. And I'm with Setrakus Ra, the man I've hated more than anything for so long. But now there's something and someone I hate more. 

The Loric. I hate them, I hate them all. I refuse to be fight on their side, and I will not be ended fighting for their cause. I am my own person, and I determine my own destiny. No one tells me what to do, no one forces me to endure such pain as I have. That is my choice, and I never had the opportunity to make it when it was made for me, in my infancy. Well now I'm talking that choice back.

I'm not for the Mogs. But I am against the Loric. I'm done with all of them.