Parent Helpline [ ✓ ]

9 : 4 2 p m

LEGEND:
Declan - bold
Grayson - italics

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"Hello..."

"It's me, Dec. Gray."

"Ah, right. Hi. 'Sup?"

"Nothing. Just stressed, that's all."

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Will be. Just feel like talking."

"Alright."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"This is more awkward than I'd thought."

"It is indeed."

"... Tell me more about you. You know so much about my life. All I know about you is that you're a dude named Declan who works at a helpline. Come on."

"Alright. What do you want to know?"

"Last name?"

"McGrail."

"Seriously? Declan McGrail? How can you even get more righteous than that?"

"By voluntarily working at a helpline. Now, yours?"

"What?"

"Your last name, monsieur. It's an equivalent exchange. I'm not going to let you exploit me like that."

"Am not."

"Is too. C'mon."

"I don't know! It's ridiculous!"

"Can't be that bad. What is it?"

"Ughhh... I swear, it will be the most horrendous name ever, and you'll wish you never asked in the first place. [Pause] Also, you're probably not going to let me live this down either."

"I solemnly swear I'm not entirely up to no good. Come on."

"[Long silence] Fine! Goddamnit."

"Your name's Gray Goddamnit?"

"No! What, are you crazy? It's Snow."

"... Snow."

"... Yes. Snow."

"Dude."

"... I knew it."

"No offense, but... Gray Snow? Honestly? Like... like Gray Snow? Who the hell named you?"

"It's not Gray Snow! Gosh, that'd be ridiculous. [Pause] And stop repeating it like that! Now it's just weird."

"Because it is weird!"

"God, Declan, my full name isn't Gray Snow. That's stupid as fuck. I'd probably have to make my mom call me something else. Like..."

"Like Jon Snow."

"Bastard."

"Child, you know nothing."

"I'm Grayson Snow."

"Mmm, and I'm the fricking holy grail."

"No, I am! Goddamnit, Dec. My full name is Grayson Ioan Frederick Snow. Which is still weird as balls, I know, and spells out GIFS. But at least it's better than Gray Snow. Which could actually become a rather nice game title, but no because it's just too ridiculous. Honestly, if I'd been in Lupin's Defence Against the Dark Arts, fighting the Boggart, my name would've just floated out of that closet. But please just let it go, because it's my name and you're making it sound worse than it already is. Which is a lot."

"Alright, alright. Sorry."

"..."

"... Gray?"

"..."

"Hello? Are you mad?"

"..."

"Okay, I'll make it up for you. Please?"

"..."

"Pretty please with a cherry on top?"

"..."

"Well then... I'm a dude, but I guess you already know that... I'm sixteen, pretty much bisexual, half American, half Italian, and an atheist. I have really dark hair and... pale-ish blue eyes? I don't know [small laugh]."

"..."

"Gray. Talk to me. Please."

"... You're half Italian?"

"Sì."

"And bisexual?"

"Yep."

"Okay."

"[Slow] Well then... are you cool now?"

"Totally. But I'm sleepy Dec."

"Go to sleep then. It's like, what, 1? Jeez, I should never pick up when you call this late. It's not good for your health."

"You care?"

"Of course I do."

"..."

"..."

"... Bye."

[Click.]

"What exactly just happened?"