Forgetting Love (Dublin Sisters #2.5)

Chapter 28

Daniyal was in deep sleep. Carefully, Samreen extracted her arm from under his head. Without making any noise she very slowly sat up on his bed. Finally, this time he didn't stir in his sleep. Instead, he was sleeping soundlessly. Laying on the toddler bed had given Samreen a back ache. She stretched and pressed at the back of her neck trying to get rid of the kinks.

She glanced at the clock, it was very late. Faraz must be asleep by now. She entered her darkened room and was at peace seeing Salim fast asleep and as for Faraaz, he too had his back towards her. Changing in her cotton night dress, Samreen snuggled under the thick quilt. She scooted closer to Faraz and rested her head against his back and her arm wrapped around his torso.

Faraz stiffened when Samreen's warm arm snaked around him. He blinked several times, his conscious attacking him. The soft contours of her body were pressed to his back. Exhaling a ragged breath, he caged her hand under his and trailed it up against his thudding heart as he slowly turned around facing her.

A gasp escaped Samreen's lips and she opened one eye, "You are awake?" she mumbled sleepily. Her nose nuzzled his t-shirt clad chest as she moved closing the gap between their bodies. The strong and pungent woody scent of his aftershave exhilarating her senses. His scent, his strength, it was all part of him that she was familiarized with. It was the overpowering feeling of belonging to him. Over the years, she had gotten used to him in ways she didn't realize. There were nights in Nouman's home when she lay awake just missing his unique scent that was just part of him or the noise of his light snores that lulled her to sleep as a lullaby makes a baby drowsy.

She was too exhausted to discern the difference in Faraz but as she was entering the recess of dreams, his voice stirred her to consciousness.

"I am sorry Sammy."

She pulled her head back, her eyebrows knitted and creases adorned her small forehead, "Faraz ssshhh." She rambled.

He lowered his head, their foreheads touching lightly, "I ... I ..." his breath fanning her face.

She shook her head, getting rid of the sleep, "What?"

After several attempts, her eyelids lifted revealing her black eyes that were even shining in the dark room. Not moving his gaze from her eyes, he confessed his sin.

"I watched. I tried to stop but I wasn't able to." The words rushed out before he could ponder on how to say it.

The venomous words hit her viciously. Sleep evaded and in that moment her heart tore apart. Her body grew rigid. With her hands on his chest she pushed him back. Helplessly, Faraz loosened his arms around her and let her manhandle him.

With only the street light streaming through curtains, her eyes that were shining with love earlier were now shooting daggers of accusation. She opened her mouth to shout at him. To curse him. Anything. But she wisely shut her mouth. Her teeth clattered as her jaw clenched. She hastily whirled around, bringing her pillow to the edge of the mattress, creating a big gap between them, she lay on her side.

Stunned and shocked, Faraz stared at his wife's back. How could he comfort her when he was the one hurting her? Laying on his back with his hand behind his head, he stared at the ceiling above. Sleep had evaporated replaced by guilt. Why wasn't he able to stop himself? Why would he turn weak? After so many months of trying, why those heinous images invaded his mind? He self-loathed himself. He had no answers to these questions.

He was a disgrace. How many chances would he ask his wife? He didn't blame her for hating him. He wasn't worth any respect. Worth nothing.

Samreen lay on her side feeling cheated once again. Faraz didn't think of her feelings. How easily he went back to it just because she wasn't there? How can she manage to be with him at all times? She had three demanding children. This was not going to work. There was no point in trying when knowing he had no respect for her.