Reawakening

Chapter Eleven

Tobias

It's late enough now that no one is really out and about when we reach the Pit. I know Tris and I can't have any sort of public relationship yet, not while I am her instructor, but we're the only ones here. I take her hand, lacing my fingers with hers, and rub small circles in her palm with my thumb. I've never held a girl's hand before; all of this is brand new to me. I have been on a few dates when Zeke has forced me along, but I always managed to offend my date somehow very early on, so my experience with girls is non-existent. And that's okay. I'm glad I waited for the right girl. Tris is special... she's different. A really good kind of different.

I lead Tris down into the chasm. Almost no one knows about this place, so I like to come here to think or to just get away from the noise and ruckus of Dauntless life. There are no cameras, and you can't really see my spot down by the water from up above. Zeke discovered this place shortly after our initiation and I have never wanted to share it with anyone before. Not until today.

We sit on a large flat rock not far above the rushing water, and I wrap my arm around her waist.

"Can I call you Tobias? When it's just us?" she asks, looking slightly nervous.

I have not wanted to hear my given name in a very long time. Growing up with Marcus, it was always more of an expletive than a name. But it isn't like that when Tris says it. Then suddenly it hits me... she said my name before she saw Marcus. She already knew who I was. How did she know that? Did she recognize me from Abnegation? If she did, wouldn't she have told me sooner?

I have to ask her about it. "It's nice to hear my name again. But only when we're alone," I reply, then bite my lip. "Uh, Tris?"

"Hmm," she hums in response. She has the most serene, peaceful look on her face, and I almost don't want to ask what I need to in case it might ruin it. But I need to know.

"In my fear landscape... you... you called me Tobias. Before you saw Marcus." Her eyes go wide and her mouth drops open. She's clearly startled... and I swear she looks like she feels guilty. "Tris, how did you know who I was?" I have to remind myself to breathe as she just sits there in tense silence.

"Shit," she mumbles under her breath. She's hiding something. I trusted her, and I really hope she will trust me with whatever it is. I don't want secrets between us.

"Tris," I sigh, "please just tell me. I just trusted you with information about myself that I have never volunteered to anyone. Ever. Whatever it is, you can tell me." My gaze is fixed on her beautiful face. The anticipation is killing me.

She closes her eyes for a moment and takes a few deep breaths before speaking. "Tobias... there is something I haven't told you, or anyone... I'm just afraid you won't believe me. I'm afraid I'll lose you when I just got you back. But I will take that risk, so please keep an open mind." Just got me back?  What is that supposed to mean?!

She takes a few more deep breaths- I'm starting to think she might be on the verge of a panic attack. I do my best to keep my expression understanding and encouraging.

"Crap, I don't even know how to start," she mumbles, but then she does start her story. "On the morning of the aptitude test," she begins, "I woke up from what I thought was a very vivid and bizarre dream. It... it was long and felt very real. My dream started that day, the morning of the aptitude test. In it... I did my aptitude test, I chose Dauntless and went through initiation. I ranked first. Then... then there was a war. A lot of things... happened. At the end I died, and Uriah did, too. At the very end of the dream, my mother and father, who had died of the beginning of the war, they told Uriah and me that we could go back and start over, fix everything." I'm confused. What does this have to do with me? And... wait, how was Uriah in her dream? Maybe they somehow knew one another before at school?