Too Young and Blind (High School Hamilton)

Love Hurts

Trigger Warning: Homophobia and Abuse

Alexander

This was it...

...I'm going to die...

...and it's all John's fault

"Isn't this fun?" Peggy asked, spinning around to look at me. In just ten minutes she'd already loaded me with bags taller than if another of me stood on my shoulders. I'm surprised the bags haven't toppled over yet.

I sighed, "Yes....very fun." I didn't even try to sound enthusiastic.

John told me if I wanted to have hugs and kisses again I had to go shopping with Peggy. Easy enough, right? You'd think it wouldn't be that bad right? Well let me tell you, it was the farthest from easy as one could get! I felt like I was carrying a car! Peggy is rich and has a great fashion sense meaning shopping with her is hell!

"Isn't you and John's anniversary coming up?" Peggy asked as she turned back around to look around.

I thought for a second and nodded, "It's next month." At least if I have the date right it's next month.

"You should get him a gift!" Peggy shouted and walked into a shop, I followed.

I looked around, "Peggy this is perfect." It was a pet shop, and we were stood in front of the baby turtle glass. Everybody and their mother knows John is obsessed with turtles.

"These ones need to grow another month." Peggy said, "So it's perfect!" She waved a worker over, "Tag one of these turtles with 'Hamilton' please." She went to hand the man some money but I stopped her.

Peggy looked like she was going to say something so I decided to explain, "If it's an anniversary gift to John then I should buy it." I set her bags down, which was a feet because I had to like squat and slide them off of my fingers, then I fished my wallet out, handing the man the needed amount.

Peggy shrugged, "Okay let's get back to shopping!" She said and ran out of the store to continue her spree. I groaned realizing I had to find a way to pick the bags back up. After about five minutes I managed it and then realized I'd lost Peggy...

John

"What?" I asked into the phone, Herc on the other end. He had yelled something down the line but I couldn't make it out, it all sounded gnarled.

"I made a tux for Laf!" He shouted happily. I barely understood that sentence as well because he was speaking fast and loud over a crappy phone connection.

"Herc that's pretty ga-" I froze as the front door slammed open, "I have to go." I said, interrupting Herc's declaration of his gayness.

"Wha-"

"-I'll see you at school." Quickly I hang up not wanting the person who'd just come home to hear anything about something being gay or a person.

"Who was that?"

Shit he'd heard. I tried not to stutter as my eyes darted to-and-fro, "J-Just a friend from school." I turned around and looked into the cold eyes of my father before dropping my gaze and sweating.

"A friend?" He repeated suspiciously. He was always like this with me, suspicious, as if he knew something I didn't or always thought I was up to no good.

"Y-Yes!" My mind started racing for what to say, "She needed help with homework..."

"She?" He sounded even more suspicious with a hint of relief.

"Y-Yes. Margarita Schuyler, you know of her." I felt the lie tumble from my lips before I could stop it.

He strode over and took my phone, I felt like a deer caught in headlights, "Who is 'Hammy'?" He asked. Oh God Alex why did you call now? My father hit the accept call button and put the phone on speaker, holding it between us.

"John! I just got back from the store with Peggy! I completed the dare so you have to hold up your end!" He sounded so happy, why did I send him on that dare? This wouldn't be happening if I didn't play this stupid affection game.

Father looked at me and I didn't know how to inform Alex not to say anything that could out us, "Yeah I will. I'll see you tomorrow, Alexander." I hoped I could end the call before anything too deep or something I couldn't explain away was said.

"Why'd you call me by my full name?" Alex asked, he sounded confused and concerned, "You never do that." Oh no. I knew this was going bad fast, how do I fix this?! Fuck.

"I'm just busy right now." I replied, I could already feel father's gaze on me. I prayed Alex caught on.

"Okay well I love you, okay?" Alex no, "And I'll see you later." He hung up. Alex please no.

Slowly I lifted my gaze to my father. He was enraged. His eyes were so dark with anger I was sure they weren't brown anymore and had just become black circles. I backed up as fast as I could until my back was against the wall, him advancing on me with each step back until we were almost chest to chest.

"You..."

I teared up in fear, against my will.

"...I raised a fucking fag?!" He growled, I felt something hit the side of my face and I went to the floor, I realized he'd just slapped me. Hard. Blood already flying from my nose, but I knew better than to answer the homophobic slur he had thrown at me. He began kicking and kicking. Pain exploded from my body but I didn't know where it started or where it stopped, it all seemed like one continuous beating. I wanted it to stop but it didn't, not for awhile yet. My screams fell on deaf ears as my siblings weren't yet home and my mother was at work.

Alexander

I looked at Peggy a bit concerned, "He sounded...off." I told her.

Peggy looked back at me, "Off?" She put her car in park.

I nodded, "You don't think he'll..." I trialed off and shifted, not wanting to say it. It was always a fear, always on the back of my mind. One day he's going not want me, one day he's going to find somebody new, one day he's going to break up with me. I tell myself he loves me and would never but I can't shake this feeling that he's going to.

"He loves you." Peggy said quickly, almost mirroring my thoughts, "He wouldn't break up with you."

I nodded, "He said he'll see me tomor-"

"-Talk to him then!" Peggy interrupted, "Ask him what that was about. Communication is key."

"Yeah." I nodded with a smile, "You're right, thanks Pegs." I hugged her, she really was the best person to talk to. Though she's never had a relationship before so I wonder how she can give suck good advice? Well either way I separated from her and went inside, yelling out my entering the building.

"Alex!" Laf called, "Père is making me eat ghost peppers!"

"Oh nO!" I tried to run out the door but Father seized my shoulders and sat me next to Laf.

We both endured this fate together.

It was not pleasant.