Too Young and Blind (High School Hamilton)

Experience

Trigger Warning: Suicide

Alexander

"Alexander?" I looked at the clock at the end of my bed to see that it was two in the morning. I looked at the Caller I.D to see it was Tori, why was she calling this early? Or late? Whatever, who calls at this time?

"Victoria?" I tried to shake the sleep from my voice but it didn't work. My phone had gone off and I of course answered, but I can't just wake up on command.

"I need your help but you gotta.." She trailed off for a few moments and then took a deep breath that informed me that she was crying, "You can't tell anybody, Alex. You can't." Her voice broke off in the way it does when people are struggling to not start sobbing.

I sat up to wake myself up more because she needed me to be awake, I never did well when I was asleep and trying to help people out, "I won't, I won't. Listen, Tori, you only have to tell me and tell me where you are, okay?" I needed to know where she was to be able to help properly.

"O-okay. I'm in u-um I'm in the Wal*Mart parking lot."She said and I pulled on my shoes, sneaking out as quietly as I could. It was hard to be quiet in a house that's so clean the floor squeaks under bare feet and carpets that didn't stifle noise at all.

"What can't I tell anybody?" I asked, heading down the sidewalk quickly after I'd made it out of the house. Tori started sobbing and kept repeating and stuttering, begging me not to tell anybody. The last time somebody told me not to tell anybody while crying it was my mother, I felt myself panic slightly. I reassured her that I wouldn't but she was too hysteric to speak coherently.

I walked into the parking lot and looked around the vacant place, I only just now realized how cold it was. I mean, New York in October! I should have grabbed a coat. I saw a figure shaking at the edge of the lot and hurried over, finding Tori and hugging her close. She was freezing!

"Hey hey, it's Alex." I said quickly when she began flailing. She stopped and I looked her over, she wasn't injured or bruised at all thankfully, I'd have killed anybody who hurt her, though I suspected she was cold as she was only in shorts and a tank top, she looked slightly blue? I felt...very worried and very scared.

"Alex you can't tell anybody." She said quietly, but she sounded a bit more in control of herself now. Her lips quivered from both the crying and the cold, her teeth chattered loudly, and her whole being was shivering with no sign of stopping. I had to get her somewhere warm but I was afraid to move her in case she was hurt internally, I needed to know what was wrong.

"I won't." I said again and held her tighter, "Please just tell me, I promise I won't judge you and I promise I won't be angry or disappointed and I won't tell anybody unless you let me. I promise." I said quickly, I hated not knowing and each passing minute was making the emotions inside me grow worse. I don't know if she had hypothermia or what but I did know she needed to get out of the cold.

Tori took a deep breath and cried over her next few words, "I-I don't know I was just-and then I was in the bathroom L-Lexi you can't tell I didn't-I wasn't thinking. Don't tell Nate please." I grew more concerned, but she was becoming hysteric again and I wouldn't be able to find out what's wrong if she didn't elaborate.

I held her tighter in an effort to both protect her from the cold and comfort her so she might calm down, "What did you do? You're not making any sense." She looked more panicked and I felt so confused.

"Th-The bottles on the counter." She said and buried her face into my shoulder. Dread hollowed out my stomach, bottles?

"B-Bottles?" I asked, she nodded, terrified I asked, "Bottles of what?" Tori went to answer but just ended up crying harder and shook her head again so I took a deep breath to stop myself from panicking worse than she was. If I started crying then this whole situation would become worse, "Was it...was it p-pills?" Everything suddenly felt so surreal when she nodded again, "When was this?!"

She choked back her tears, "Like eight..."

"Eight in the afternoon?" I asked and she nodded, I felt slightly relieved because it's been a enough hours that she was out of the danger zone, at least I think that's right. "Tori I-we gotta go to the hospital." I didn't know if she was going to be okay, I just wanted her to be okay.

"No!" I flinched at the yelling and she grabbed my shoulders so hard I thought her finger nails might cut me, "We can't tell anybody!" Her eyes bore into mine and I realized how dilated her pupils were.

"O-Okay." I stood up and picked her up bridal style as I did, "I'm gonna sneak you into my room, okay? You have to be quiet." I just had to get her out of the cold, her fingernails had begun to turn gray.

"Don't tell." She repeated and I sighed, nodding slightly. I carried her back to my place, managing to sneak her back into my room without waking up anybody. I sat her on the bed, sitting next to her and taking her hands, she looked around the room and then closed her eyes, "A-Alex." She sounded scared, what was she scared about?

"Yeah?" She started shaking slightly and I held her hands tighter.

"I've been seeing things since I woke up." She admitted in a rush, a tear trickled down her cheek.

"Seeing things?" I repeated, confused. She nodded, "Seeing what?" I asked. Maybe this was from the pills? I think some medications will make you high so maybe she's a bit stoned right now?

"Things! Little things, big things, weird things, but...but um, mostly scary things. I'm scared." She sounded small, in fact, she looked smaller than I'd ever seen her before. Victoria has always seemed like a bad ass and confident person who didn't let anybody tell her what for, she's never looked this small and vulnerable before.

"I'm scared too, okay? I'm just as scared." I wrapped my blanket around her shoulders in an attempt to prepare her for what I was going to ask, "Tori I know you don't want to but...but please we have to go to the hospital or at least tell my father-" She made a noise to interrupt but I kept talking, "-I..I think you overdosed or something. Hallucinating isn't a good sign, please Tori." She shook her head violently and I grew desperate, "Please!" I teared up, "I won't do it if you won't let me but I'm scared for you. Please-pl-just let me get help. I promise I won't leave you and nobody else needs to know. Just you, me, my father, and Na-"

"-No don't tell Nate...you can um, you can get Washington but my family can't know a-and don't tell Laf or Herc or the others." She said though it was obvious she was struggling with giving permission for anybody else.

"I won't." I kissed her forehead and got up, going to the door, I turned to look at her before I left, "I promise it'll all be okay. The fact that you're still alive after six hours is good, okay? It'll be okay and I'm going to make sure it is." She only nodded mutely. I left to get father, trying to remain strong even though I felt like breaking down in the hallway.

I couldn't help but cry the whole time, even when father said she wasn't going to die, and when she fell asleep on my bed. I cried the whole time because a girl I've known for so long and who's been so happy felt the need to do this. My high school experience really is shit, isn't it? And I was so hyped up over it for so long too. I crawled into my bed and just held her. Not in a romantic way or whatever I just...I almost lost her, I needed to hold her right now.