Solstice (A Jasper Hale/ Twilight novel)

Chapter Five: Adjusting

Ember's Point of View:

The Cullens have been very welcoming, and despite having only been here several days, I feel accepted by all of them. Each of them is friendly towards me, especially Bella's daughter, Renesmee, who loves listening to the stories I tell from my time in other countries.

As time passes, I can feel myself slowly becoming more open around them. I'm adjusting slowly, but the whole family seems to understand and respect the slight distance I keep from them, for which I am very grateful.

Sometimes I have the strongest urge to just jump in and participate as part of their family, and I have no doubt they would accept me with open arms. There's another part of me that's holding back though, a part that's hesitant to grow any closer than I already am. I suppose the thing that's really holding me back is that I've never had a family as close as the Cullens are to each other; it makes me feel a bit like an outsider, no matter how kind they all are to me.

My family as a human was a toxic relationship; they were the reason I ran off to war in my youth. When I was very young, I presumed the terror of my home life was normal; I thought it was just the way things were. It wasn't until I was around nine that I realized none of the other children went to school with bruises painted across their skin. None of the other children were afraid to sleep with their door unlocked at night.

My second family, the one I found within my brothers in arms, was a good one. They were people I knew I could count on to protect me and to always be there. I was never able to be my true self though, because even within that family I had a secret; no one could know I was in fact a young woman. Vinny was the only one who knew, and he found out on accident. I was lucky that he agreed to keep it a secret.  

Maybe this third family could be different though. This could be my chance at normal for once. I snort aloud at that thought. Normal. I guess I will never be able to experience true normalcy, what with being a vampire and all, but I'm not sure I could deal with such a mundane life anyways.

"Heavy thinking?" I hear a gentle voice ask from behind me. It snaps me back to the present, my surroundings coming back to me.  I've been walking aimlessly through the woods for the past hour or so, though not alone, apparently.  Renesmee stands behind me just a few feet away, showing just how lost in thought I was by the fact that I did not hear her approach.

I smile slightly, looking down at my shoes to avoid her gaze. "Yeah, something like that."

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asks hesitantly, her head tilted to the side.  She reminds me a lot of Bella in that sense, always putting others before herself.

"No, it's alright." I say, looking around at the surrounding forest and realizing I have no idea where my feet have led me. "I'm beginning to realize just how out of it I was; I have no idea where we are.  You do, right?"  

I could have followed my own trail back to the house, but I had wound my way through the forest, not walking in a straight line.  Taking the same route back would be a bit excessive.

"Yes, I know where we are.  I come out here exploring a lot, usually with Jacob." she says. I can't remember who Jacob is, so I make a mental note to ask her later. "You're closer to my house, wanna come with me?" she offers.

I gladly accept the invitation. "Thanks." I give her a small smile, and follow after as she dashes into the trees.

**

I suppose by human standards we had been a substantial distance away from Bella and Edward's house, but with our speed it takes less than a minute to arrive.  The house is an adorable little thing; a winding path leads through the vegetation to the door, dotted with light posts every so often. Ivy is slowly creeping its way up the earth toned sides of the building, giving it an enchanting, almost magical quality.

"I love your house." I whisper, meaning to say it in my head.

Renesmee giggles. "Thanks, I do to.  I love looking out my window and seeing nothing but the forest.  There's nothing to mar the view."

I nod. "As much as I love the sun, there's something about the cool, rainy forests up north that draw me in." 

By now we've entered into the house, sitting across from each other in the living room on two red armchairs

"I keep forgetting that you can go out in the sun; that must be nice." Renesmee says.

"Well so can you." I point out. "You know I keep forgetting that you're half human, you can go walking around in the daylight just like I can."

"It doesn't do me much good up here though." Renesmee laughs, thinking about the terrible weather of Forks, Washington.

"I can't argue with you there."

I stand up, ambling around the room as I look at everything.  A violin case catches my attention, sitting in the far corner of the room.  It's sitting on top of a baby grand piano.  "Do you play?" I ask Renesmee curiously, pointing to the piano and violin.

"Dad taught me how to play the piano, and I'm teaching myself to play the violin.  Do you play either?"

"Yes, it's one of the only things that my parents-" I cut myself off.  That's not somewhere I want to go today. "I've played the violin for quite a few years."

I see Renesmee open and then close her mouth, refraining from asking questions about what I was going to say.  Her face screws itself up in a rather comical expression as she wars with herself over whether or not to voice her curiosity. Instead, she asks a different question. 

"Will you play me something?" she holds out the violin and bow eagerly, both of which had been across the room only a second before.

"I haven't played in quite some time," I warn, "So I apologize if it's a bit of a disappointment."

She raises one eyebrow at me. "I seriously doubt that.  Just one song?" she pleads.

I bow my head, accepting, and take the instrument from her hands. I run the bow over the strings once, playing a simple scale. A happy sigh escapes my lips;  I had missed playing.

The next chapter will be a part two for this chapter.  Feedback is greatly appreciated! :)