Solstice (A Jasper Hale/ Twilight novel)

Chapter Eight: Laura Ember Lane

Several Weeks Later (Ember's Point of View):

Things had more or less fallen into a steady rhythm in the Cullen household; I had all but been adopted by the family. I spent most of my time wandering through the forest with Jasper, the two of us lost in our own little world.

It's such a nice change to live with a well-functioning coven as opposed to being on my own; it's less lonely. Until now, I hadn't realized how much I craved companionship, to not be so solitary.

What I couldn't shake out of my head though was the thought that something bad is going to happen. I had not forgotten being chased through the woods when Bella showed up at my door; the question of who it was incessantly swirls through the back of my mind, a constant worry.

I feel like something is going to happen, I just don't know what it is yet. Alice hasn't seen anything out of the ordinary, no new glimpses of this mysterious red-eyed vampire, but it doesn't soothe me.

I'll sometimes catch Edward watching me with wary eyes, able to easily read my fear. Sometimes I can pull from Bella's gift and shield my mind, but others I just bury the thoughts deep within myself where Edward can't see. He hasn't mentioned anything about it to me yet, but I know he's itching to.

Jasper was actually the first one to ask, sensing the increasing nervousness of my mood as days and weeks progressed. We had been wandering through the forest, as had become our habit, when he had brought it up. My thoughts had moved back to worrying without my knowing, and Jasper had noticed.

"What's on your mind darlin'?"

I smile, silently happy for the term of endearment. "I'm just worried, mainly overthinking." Although I had meant to keep my tone light, it turns anxious by the end.

Jasper tilts his head slightly in question. "About what?"

"I just can't get that tracker out of my head. I feel like the scent is familiar from something, I don't know. It's almost like I feel I should recognize it, but I don't." Even speaking it aloud frustrates me; the answer is on the tip of my tongue, I just can't remember it.

"I wouldn't worry about it too much. If Alice hasn't seen anything coming then it should be alright."

I nod along with Jasper, feeling a wave of calm seep into me. "Hey!" I cry, faking outrage, "No using your pathokinesis on me!" I let go of Jasper's hand to shove him slightly.

"Like you don't 'borrow' the ability all the time." he jests, bumping back into me.

"Well.." I give up and just shrug at that. "fair enough."

We walk along in silence for awhile, our hands twined together again, before I remember something I had been meaning to do. All of my clothes are still in my own apartment back in Ontario, and I've been meaning to run back up there and bring some back. Rosalie has been kind enough to loan me some of hers, some of which I am currently wearing, but I can't keep borrowing her things if the Cullens are content with having me around for awhile longer.

"I need to go back to Ontario for some of my stuff; do you think anyone will let me borrow a car?"

"I could take you." Jasper offers immediately, causing me to smile slightly. I was hoping he would offer. "We can leave right when we get back to the house if you want."

I nod. "Thanks, and yeah that would be great."

"Alice and Henry will probably let us borrow their Porsche; their car is the fastest of all of ours."

I brighten at the prospect of riding in a Porsche. "I've never been in a fast car; I've always preferred running, although running back from Ontario with all of my things would be rather difficult."

Jasper chuckles, no doubt imagining me trying to schlep all of my things from Ontario to Washington, sans car.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up Hale." I roll my eyes jokingly at him.

"You know I don't know your last name." Jasper points out.

I raise an eyebrow. "I don't know your real last name either."

"Well then perhaps we should start over." Jasper pulls us to a stop, letting go of my hand and turning to face me. "I'm Jasper Whitlock, ma'am." I take his outstretched hand and he lifts it up to his lips, giving it a light kiss.

"A true southern gentleman." I applaud. "Well Jasper Whitlock, my name is Laura Ember Lane."

 "You go by your middle name?"

"Yes, I started going by Ember when I joined the army, but that story will have to wait for the car ride; it's a long one." I gesture to the fact that we've walked all the way back to the house. 

I grew up in an unsafe environment, one that lead to many broken bones and scared, sleepless nights. When I was little, I thought that kind of parental abuse was normal.  The school I went to at the time actually called home on several occasions, the last one to bring my parents in for an evaluation of whether or not they were fit to keep caring for me. It stopped the physical abuse, but soon evolved into mental abuse.  I'm sure now I could have taken the vile words without a cringe or even a blink, hell, now I could probably turn it around with a joke, but I was young then, and still growing into myself.

In my mind, the solution was clear- cut; all of the young boys were enlisting in the army.  It would be a fast way to get me as far away from my family as possible. I was young, much too young to join the army, but that was the clearest way out for me.  

Initially, I had planned to wait until I was eighteen and move out, but at the age of sixteen it became quite apparent that I couldn't wait any longer to leave. Things were getting... worse for me. In my mind, I felt I would have a better chance at war than I would surviving on the streets.

Within my first year of enlisting I learned two very important things: one, running off to war is not a way to escape problems, and two, I have to be able to trust people.

I struggled with the latter for my entire time in the army. Despite the fact that I considered everyone in my unit brothers, and the closest family I'd ever had, only one of them ever knew I was a woman. I wear his dog tag as well as my own around my neck. 

Ironically enough, it was soon after he died that I was turned.  I had just turned nineteen.  I don't remember what he looks like very well anymore; the last time I physically saw him was soon after I was turned.  After the inital pain of the transformation, I remember wanting to massacre the same people that had been my brothers for the past three years, so I ran. I was disgusted with myself for even thinking it. 

Within my first week of the transformation, I discovered that bags of human blood dulled the desire to kill everyone in my sight. It took more than a year for me to be able to focus on anything besides blood.

I met Carlisle in the fifties; he caught me sneaking blood from the hospital he worked in at the time. By this point I could stand being around people, even if they were bleeding, but to be an actual doctor? I was in awe of his restraint.  

He told me about the "vegetarian" diet, something I would have never thought of on my own.  One thing he did mention to me before leaving that I thought was interesting was the fact that instead of having crimson eyes, they were almost an orange-red, a shade or two lighter than the vampires he had met who hunted humans.

Carlisle hadn't mentioned how much harder this diet is. I had to slowly wean myself off of the blood bags; they were so much better tasting than animal blood.  I made it though, eventually meeting one other like me. Byron had come about being a "vegetarian" all on his own, and we traveled together for several decades. His friendship became crucial when I needed help with making Bella forget me; I couldn't have her leave Phoenix still remembering who I was. It was too dangerous, and not to mention would make her even more of a target for other nomadic vampires.

"And now here we are." Jasper says, placing his hand over mine.

While I had been talking, we had already made it past the Canadian border and into Saskatchewan.

I smile and lace our fingers together. "And here we are."