Shit Happens

Whats Left

It came so fast, yet left faster.
I saw my grandfather lose his memory, slowly oh so slowly.
Why did they have to take his?
He had good memories, he had people worth remembering.
What did everyone else have?
What did I have worth remembering?
Nothing
I had nothing and he had everything,
So explain to me why his was taken,
You can't can you?
You don't have an answer to why I had to watch him remember his wife, then have to be reminded that she wasn't going to come back
Evolution?
Ha yeah, evolution is the reason my parents wouldn't let me see him when he was having a "bad day" or sundowning.
Do you know what that is? Sundowning?
It's when someone with dementia or Alzheimer's gets worse as the sun goes down. He couldn't even enjoy the streaks of purple from the sun.
He had to be given medicine and more medicine.
When we did get to see him?
He wasn't the same.
In the beginning, he didn't let it show.
He would play salutary and goldfish with us like he was betting money on poker.
Then we went back there, maybe, three months later?
I had to teach him how to play.
I had to remind him who my dad was.
So yes when they say he's having a bad day I'll stay away,
Do you want to know the worst part?
I can't even remember what he was like before.
No one can.

***

I had to watch my grandfather lose his memory to dementia. I couldn't do anything to help.