Surface

Chapter 5 - Dead But Not Gone

Water rushed out of the shower head and pounded into the bathtub in a harsh pitter patter. It didn't compare to the roaring waves of the ocean. Nothing could.

I hadn't been to the beach since the day Tori's body was found. I had always loved the ocean, I could never stay away from it for long. But it had been a month since I set foot on that beach. A new record.

There were too many ghost that would haunt me if I returned. Victoria's absence and the longing to end it all would drown me quicker than any amount of water.

Even then, although Tori was dead she wasn't really gone. She was still all I thought about and still all the town talked about. And as long as her murderer was still out there, the conversations would not cease.

The girls and I decided to go home. Our first day back had been a total bust and we did not want to stay to find out how much worse it could get. I walked home, my clothes stained with red. It was almost amusing to see everyone's reactions. The blank faces, the gasps, the checking of calendars to see if it was Halloween. Even that one women, obviously a nurse at the local doctors office, ran up to me asking if I was hurt.

I was definitely hurt from the 'prank'. No amount of medication or stitches could make that hurt go away.

My clothes peeled off like a soggy bandage, the stench made my nose wrinkle. The gray sweater was now blood red like my hair. Whoever did this was an extremely practiced prankster who had little regards to feelings or the value of clothing.

I stepped into the shower and watched the fake blood stream off of me and down the drain.

I wanted to be mad at the students who were doing this to us but I couldn't. We deserved it. I deserved it. I shoved the thought aside a lot, knowing it would just make me break down. But at the moment, that was all I could think about.

We were the ones that tormented the students first. We were the ones that taunted them, pointed out their flaws, made them feel like they were less than and manipulated them. We only made them feel loved when we wanted something in return. Now, they were returning the favor.

I made my bed and I had to lie in it.

Only, I realized this too late. There was nothing that could be done now. I couldn't change the past. Everything that I did to them, to hurt them, was engraved in me, making me who I was. I couldn't stand who I was.

I am a horrible person.

I covered my mouth as a cry escaped my lips. Then a sob. A few tears. More tears. So many tears I thought they would fill up the tub and drown me. Soon, my knees buckled and I melted down, curled up in a ball.

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It was that day again, the day Tori's body was found.

Except it was different.

I was standing at the edge of the cliff with a determination I had never seen in my eyes. The clouds were gray but the pulsing purple sky was shining through. Bolts of electricity ran through the sky to the beat of the roaring thunder. My arms slowly raised to create a horizontal line parallel to my shoulders. I span around so my back was to the ocean. It was reaching out to drag me down. It didn't have to.

I was going to jump.

The lacy black dress that Victoria had formerly worn was on me, the lace flowed in the wind like a flag of a ship. My eyes shut. I let go of myself. I let myself fall.

I only felt the breeze for a second before my body slapped the water. It hurt. An icy cold shock ran through me as I went a few feet under.