Surface

Chapter 20 - Ruin

I did not allow myself to feel the weight of the words he spoke, I did not allow myself to picture a world in which I said I felt the same and I did not gaze into his eyes a moment longer.

Maybe he thought I wasn't a murderer. Maybe he thought I was deserving of affection. None of that changed that getting involved with me would put the already broken boy in even more danger than he already was. My stalker drugged him and placed my necklace in his pocket to scare us. It was their way of showing off the power they held. It was their way of stating they could easily frame whoever they wanted. This person was still out there and there was no way I could risk dragging Pete further into it all. Not to mention the detectives were just waiting for a romance to bud in between Pete and I to use as motive. They might have had the case closed as a suicide at the moment but I had a strong feeling that Brooks would open it back up in a heartbeat if given the chance.

I had to do what was best for him. Maybe one day he would understand.

Stepping away from him, I scoffed. "Falling for me? Rich move, going after your dead girlfriend's best friend!"

He blinked, trying to register what was going on. "What?"

"I am not a replacement. I'm not Victoria and I will never be Victoria!" I guess a part of me did find this concerning. What if he was trying to replace Victoria with me? What if I was just a way to numb the pain of losing her?

He shook his head. "When did I ever say that?"

I fumbled for words. "You didn't have to! At first, I thought we were just two people bonding over missing a girl . . ."

"And that's what it was in the beginning but then I got to know you! This isn't about Victoria-"

I shoved him backwards in an ugly fit of aggression. "No, from the start you were making your move on the next best thing. Did you ever even love her?!"

That one hurt. I could see it in his eyes.

"Or were you using her for popularity? Or maybe just kisses?"

His nostrils flared. "Stop it."

The way he was looking at me now - the way people used to look at me when I was in Hannah's group - tore at my chest. I had to make sure he would stay away for good even though I was wincing before the words came out of my mouth.

"Look at the similarities! You shared Victoria with Zac and now your sharing me with him!"

Pete took a step back like I had shoved him again. He bit his lip to hold in the emotions that were obviously fighting to make their way to the surface. "Wow."

"I can't be too cross at you because honestly I was using you too. Watching you be pathetically miserable over a girl who killed herself rather than be with you was quite entertaining! And going after her friend! Thinking her friend could ever want you in return! Ha! Really Pete, you've out done yourself-"

"Stop," his voice cracked. "You are not mean or a murderer, Arielle. Those are not your faults. You are a coward."

That was all he offered. No dramatic or aggressive rebuttal. It made it even more difficult to bare when he started to quietly pack up the picnic and walk towards the boat. He helped me on it, rowed us back, and walked me home as the cherry on top. All in an emotionless, robotic manner. It's like he knew his chivalry and silence would cause more damage than a retaliation.

He was right. It did hurt me. So much.

My gran was fast asleep at home. She was curled up on the couch, the tv still playing. She was probably trying to wait up until I came back home. I placed a blanket over and shut off the television before heading upstairs. The dress was flung to the side and landed on floor because I couldn't see through the tears.