Surface

Chapter 8 - Freedom For A High Cost

My mouth hung open while Helen shrieked. Norah's knees buckled and she collapsed. Victoria was covering her mouth, biting down a scream. Hannah was silent. We stood as still as statues for what felt like forever until Helen let out a shaky sentence.

"Is he dead?"

Norah scoffed, bitterly. "Well, there's no way he's alive."

I dropped the gun. Rain started to pour down like blood running from a deep wound.

"I- I didn't mean for this to happen," I said staring at the train tracks. I let out a whimper. "It was an accident."

"No one will believe that." Hannah walked over to me, giving me a stare like ice. "Not even I believe that."

I began to shake. What had I done?

Hannah looked at all of us, back at where his body should have been, and then at my weapon. Her hair was beginning to stick to her face from the rain. She grabbed Helen's arm and pulled her up from the muddy ground where she had just fallen.

"Don't get your clothes dirty." She motioned for Norah to get up as well.

"Are you serious, Hannah? The last thing I'm worried about right now is my clothes!" I could see the guilt was already eating Helen up. Her face scrunched up because of her frown and droopy eyebrows.

This was all my fault. I shouldn't have involved them in this. Now they'll pay the price of being forever traumatized.

"It's not about the clothes," Norah stated, looking numb. She had the look she did when she was solving a math problem. Blank. Passive. "She wants to cover it up - make it seem like we weren't here - like we didn't do this."

Spinning around to face Hannah, I could see this was true. She had that look in her eye. She was trying to be strong and lead the group like she always did. Though through the rain I could see the tears sliding down her face.

"It's up to Arielle. She did this. She gets to decide what we do."

For the first time in a while I was able to use my own voice, make my own choice but I didn't want to this time. I wanted to disappear. I wanted this to all go away. To be washed out by the water falling from the sky.

Helen shook her head hard. "Why can't we just call the cops? Ari said it was an accident. It was an accident."

"They won't buy it," Norah stated. "Our best bet is to cover it up."

They all looked to me, waiting for an answer. It was hard to be touched by the fact that they were about to cover up a murder for me with the cold rain seeping through my clothes and the weight of what just happened on my shoulders.

I took a shaky breath and squeezed my eyes shut.

Could I really live with this?

Could I really live in jail? Could I let the girls go to jail for me?

I opened them. "Fine. We'll cover this up."

Victoria gave me a torturous look that was still burned in the back of my mind months later. She didn't want to cover it up. She didn't want anything to do with it at all. But she still helped.

Of course, the memory of what happened in July decided to play in my head at the worst possible moment. I jolted up, forgetting that I was at the edge of a cliff, forgetting that I wasn't going to wake up in my bed.

The motion was enough for me to slide, the sand providing no resistance as my body got closer and closer to the edge. I let out a piercing shriek and dug my hands into the ground, trying to hold onto something. The sand slipped through my hands. My legs went off the edge first and then there was nothing beneath me.