blind - owen teague | ✔️

10. When It Rains...

I missed the warmth as soon as it left me. It left me smarting and wanting his warmth to feel the empty, cold void it left behind as he was left from the room. Her voice was clipped, leaving absolutely no room for arguing.

The peaceful atmosphere was now gone along with my perfect, momentary happiness. I frowned as he told me goodbye, for now. I didn't want goodbye. I wanted now. I wanted to see more things - feel the world again.

Back again to sensory deprivation, I felt my arm being lifted and the familiar, semi-harsh squeeze of a blood pressure cuff. My blood pressure would surely be high at this point.

Anisa was oddly quiet, and my left hand came up to see what was wrong. "You're quiet." My voice was wary. I felt wary, tentative. Had I done something wrong? All we were doing was talking.

Touching.

Heat bloomed in my cheeks. It wasn't like that. It was sweet. Pure. It wasn't sexual.

"I know." Clipped. Curt. Cold.
Anisa wasn't the mother I met the first day. She was now professional. A doctor. Fake-warmth. The insincere kind.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked. Now my pulse was racing in all the wrong ways. Panic, not excitement or pure curiosity. Was I losing a friend? No - she and Owen were all I had. This wasn't right. I've done as told. Eat, bed, bathroom. That's all.

"No. I suppose you couldn't control it." That was an odd way of putting things. I couldn't control it? What couldn't I control?

My mind was beyond reeling. It was a Roladex, flipping, flipping, new worries, new outcomes. What was going on?

"Control what?" I asked as I turned my head back in the direction of her voice. My heart was almost beating in my throat. I didn't know what else to think. I couldn't lose her. I was in a bleak blackness and my thoughts always went to the worst.

"How you grow attached to people."

Was it obvious? That obvious? Now suddenly self-conscious, I frowned. I wondered if I was really that attached. I couldn't help that?.

Before I could reply, I was being ordered to open my mouth and she checked my temperature. Standard routine. I kept silent while she did so and divulged in my thoughts instead.

It was obvious I was attached to Owen. Was that good or bad? The feeling in my stomach said bad. Bad. It left me vulnerable and gaping for the hurt. My heart was on my damned sleeve. I couldn't get it off.

I sighed when the thermometer was removed and I wished my sight was back. I was vulnerable enough without it and becoming attached wasn't helping things.

"I'm not mad at you. I'm not upset." Anisa was speaking again and my full attention was back at the only thing in the void. She was a contact. I needed that. Maybe that's why I needed Owen...

I shoved that thought away. I didn't need Owen, did I? No... Yes... No... Maybe...

This was all confusing. Where's my mom? I want my mom.

"I don't want you to... Become attached. Honey, you are a patient." There was that word again. Patient. Memories flicked to when Owen wasn't here, he was with his friends and I was left in the dust. That felt like days ago. It wasn't.

"You have to control this. You can't allow yourself to attach to the closest person to you for the moment. You're vulnerable, [F/n]."

I know. You don't have to tell me. I'm here. I'm blind. I'm without family. Owen is making me see the world with new paints. I can't understand anything. This is all new.

"He's going to find someone who isn't like this. He's going to find someone who can see at school, or another friend. You have to understand that you're limited here. I'm not trying to be mean. I'm trying to be honest."

My mouth was suddenly dry, all buzzing and fluttering feelings gone for good. The butterflies, the flutters, the chills, the warmth, have all iced over. It was a tundra now, hard to breathe from all of the ice.

"I..." I couldn't find the words to say. It was a train of realization. I had to distance myself before it began to hurt me. It already hurt and all he did was show me his skin, his clothes. There was something wrong with me.

"Please understand me. I only want the best for you." Her voice was soft and I felt her cold fingers lift my hand with the IV line in it, my right. I didn't want this. I didn't want her touch. I wanted Owen's warm hands again, under my clammy palm. No, I didn't. Distance.

I was playing too close to the flame and I was damned to get scorched, scarred, maimed. It was inevitable. Probably ineffable. It was going to happen. It was already starting to burn me, and I didn't want this.

"I-I understand." I managed. I understand, don't I? She just wants to see me well, and he wasn't an asset, right?

My temples throbbed and my eyes stung. I wanted to cry. I wanted to sleep. I wanted to do something, other than feel her too-cold hands. Owen's hands are warm. Stop thinking about him!

This was too much and before I knew it, her heels were clicking out the room and the door opened and shut with the one-two impromptu click. I sighed and lifted my hands to cover my face. I felt the bandages beneath and my fingertips rubbed them for comfort before they found themselves going to the velvet across my lap.

Owen...

Oh, Owen. The flame. I wanted his touch now more than ever, now that she said I was nothing more than a mere patient. I felt betrayed. I sighed again and let my head flop against the pillow.

Like a switch, I was out. The emotional toll was unbearable from that day, a high, a deep low. So many thoughts. So many feelings.

Owen, what am I going to do?