Dark City

46.

A circle of women met weekly in a church, women of all different ages, races and economic backgrounds. Some bore burn scars, some bore bruises and some wore way too much makeup to look human, but they all were there for the same purpose. Tom watched and listened from the hallway. All their stories were so gut-wrenching, it was hard, but he wanted to make sure Alex was okay. Whenever he peeked in, he would see her wringing a ball of tissues in her hands. Soon it was her turn to speak.

"I'm Alex," she said. The women in the circle greeted her. "You're all so brave... to be working through your issues after all you've been through. I'm nothing like you. I don't know if I belong here, because I don't even remember what happened to me. I think I was raped, but I don't really know. That night I had taken cocaine, ecstasy, oxycontin and more drinks than I can remember. I probably belong in a different support group. One for addicts."

"Go ahead and tell us what happened," the group's moderator said. Alex took a deep breath.

"I woke up and I was with this guy who I knew liked me, but who I didn't like back. My clothes were gone and I was wearing some other girl's dress. When I got home, I found a mark on my back put there while I was unconscious. So I went to the hospital and had a rape kit done. They said there was vaginal tearing, but I told them that I had lost my virginity that same night before I lost consciousness, so they said it could have been from that. I'm so stupid, I can't even remember if I was raped or not."

"No, sweetheart," one of the women said. "It doesn't matter whether you remember or not. You belong here with us as much as anyone." The other women applauded.

At the end of the meeting, Tom led Alex to his car. The wind chill bit at his nose and ears.

"What did you think?" he asked.

"They were nice." Alex pulled on her pink mittens and tucked her hands into her coat pockets. They got into his car and Tom started his engine and turned on the heat.

"Thank you," she said. "I know this probably isn't how you wanted to spend your Saturday."

Tom put his car in drive and eased out of his parallel park job. "You're a tough cookie, Princess."

"Thanks." Alex tilted her head back and smiled. "Hey, why do you call me Princess all the time?"

"Why do you call me Brash?"

"Because you're a smartass."

"Yeah, well, you're a princess, so there you go."

"What does that mean?"

"Riding horses, going to fancy balls."

"I don't go to balls. I missed the deb ball in New York."

"What?" He glanced over at her again as he drove. She slouched in her seat, eyes full of gloom.

"I hate those people."

"Yeah, well, I'm still gonna call you Princess," he said. "You've got a Princess Zelda thing going on."

"Okay." She chuckled modestly.

"I still can't believe you play video games."

"Why not?"

"I thought all girls just liked makeup and ponies and pretty gardens."

Alex rolled her eyes. "Oh my God. You're such an asshole."

Tom couldn't contain his smile, but the sentiment made him sad as he remembered that this girl was still a broken wreck on the inside.

"I have questions for you, but you're not gonna like 'em," he said.

"Okay."

"What are you taking? And how bad are the days you go without it?"

Alex said nothing. The bare black trees outside were just starting to flower. The roadway glistened with stagnant pools of rainwater from that morning. The light sparkled on the asphalt and he put on his dad's aviator sunglasses and squinted through the scratched lenses.

"Why do you care?" she asked. "I could understand if you wanted to be with me, but after Halloween, it seemed like you didn't."

"I could fall for you under the right circumstances. You kick ass at fencing, you have a hot scar and you're cute, but you're in a bad place right now. I don't want to take advantage of that."

"You've been a good friend to me. But I like you more than that."

"I know. But I've seen the pill bottles and I want you to get help first."

They passed salons, diners and abandoned miniature golf parks. They passed empty lots and acres of forest. And then they entered the hidden sanctuary of Shark River Hills and drove up to the gray stones of Alex's house. As Tom stopped the car, he heard a nearly invisible whisper.

"I will," she said. "I don't want to feel this way anymore."

"Everything's gonna work out, okay?"

"Thanks," she said, unfastening her seatbelt. She leaned over and kissed his cheek before getting out of the car. Tom watched her go into her house. Somehow he had found himself in Nathan's place. Nathan was the hero, a man with nothing who could rescue a princess and suddenly have everything. It scared Tom that he was starting to consider himself for the role.

Tom backed out down the long winding driveway. He maneuvered his way onto the road and drove home.

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Music: Muse "Falling Away With You"