A L E X Y S // s.minter

: seven :

: seven :

Knock. Knock. Knock.

The noise of someone knocking on the front door woke me up. I got out of bed groggily and stumbled down the stairs rubbing my eyes to wake me up a little. I opened the front door and my eyes widened waking me up.

"Hey" He said breathily

"Umm... hi?" I said unsure of what I should do right now

"Can I come in?" He asked

"Why?" I countered him

"Because I want to talk and try this thing again" He said but sounded unsure of his words

"I don't know if that's the best idea Simon" I looked down at the floor to avoid eye contact

"Please Christine" He begged. I never saw this side of Simon a lot, the vulnerable side. I moved out of the way to let him inside. He hesitated for a moment but took me up on the offer and walked inside.

"Where is she?" He asked

"She's still asleep upstairs" I said walking into the kitchen and he followed me. I turned the kettle on to make myself a coffee as it looks like I won't be going back to sleep.

"Would you like a drink?" I asked him still trying to avoid any eye contact with my baby's father.

"I'm fine, thanks" He said quietly, taking a seat at the kitchen table. We stayed silent as I made myself my coffee. I took my mug and sat down at the round table opposite him.

"So" I said trying to break the awkward silence

"First off, I want to apologize to you. I am so sorry for the way I made you feel when we broke up. You should know that it was never my intention to do that. I was new to all that love shit. I never thought I would ever find someone that I cared about that much to change for, you showed me so many new things about myself. I know you'll never forgive me but there's not a day that's gone by where I haven't thought about you Chris" He said. I took a minute to take it all in, what he just said. I never thought I'd get a sincere apology from him, Simon Minter I actually believe you and I hate myself for it.

"Okay" I breathed looking up at him

"I don't know how to deal with all this baby news but I want to be around, I know that much" He told me

"Why?" I asked him without thinking. What a dumb question. You can't just ask people why they want to be in their daughter's lives Christine, maybe because they have a biological connection?

"Sorry that was so stupid" I said looking back down into my mug of coffee

"No it's fine. I guess so I don't feel guilty about not being there and because it's the least I can do to show you I care" He explained

"Okay" I nodded.

"I know you don't believe me Chris but I didn't have sex with that girl, I didn't do anything with her" He told me

"You're right I don't believe you" I muttered

"How can I make you believe me?" He asked

"Why does it matter?" I looked up at him, my voice slightly louder because I'm starting to get irritated. Irritated with the fact he keeps bringing this girl up. He really wants me to buy this story and I don't want to be reminded. I have tried so hard to push all of this so far in the back of my mind and he keeps trying to pull it back.

"Because I hated myself for months for not explaining it to you. I just let you go and believe what ever you thought happened, when what I should've done was at least tried to change your mind" He said. I could see the pain in his eyes and it hurt my chest. I don't like this vulnerable side of Simon because it breaks me to see it.

"Do you know how hard I've tried to push those memories to the farthest part of my brain because it completely broke me Simon. Nobody could comfort me because it was all a big 'I told you so'. I was the 17-year-old who had to drop out of school because she was having a baby all by herself. I had my image completely tarnished, I was no longer the good girl in everyone's eyes, I am the fuck up" I told him my eyes watering and my voice cracking. 

{a/n}

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