Chapter nineteen

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I lay my head on Winter's chest as we stared up at the clouds. It was clearly about to rain. I didn't mind, though. I would walk through a billion thunderstorms just to be with Winter.

"I don't think they understand how important you are." Winter said suddenly. I stopped tying knots in a blade of grass. "What do you mean?"

"I know they have the money. Your Mum is an actor and your Dad is a scientist and your brothers are models. They have the money to pay me, but they haven't yet."

"Shut up, Winter." I said quietly, going back to tying knots in the blade of grass. He started to run his hand through my hair. "It's crazy, really. There's no reason they can't pay me, but they haven't yet. I guess its maybe the other thing I requested that they're having trouble with."

"What do you want?" I tore the grass into little pieces. "You should at least tell me."

"I see no reason to." He replied, making me smile. He was so stubborn, and even though it annoyed me sometimes, it was one of the qualities I loved about him. "Well, if you won't tell me that, why don't you at least tell me about your Schizophrenia. I do have a right to know, you know."

"No... you don't."

"Yes... I do."

"Nuh uh."

"Yuh huh."

"Fine." He huffed and nudged my head off his chest. I rolled onto my side, and we both stared at each other for a few moments. "His name is Aiden." He said suddenly. I blinked.

"He comes out when I get angry. I can't really help it. I do dumb stuff when I get angry, and it's not my fault. Its..." He gritted his teeth and narrowed his eyes. "Him. That dumb stupid piece of crap. He's so mean, too. If I hate something, then he does it. For example, I hate smoking, so guess what he does? Smokes. I hate swearing, and that's what he does. I hate my secrets getting exposed, so he likes to do that too. I can't even remember the stuff he does. I can lose days to him, and I can't remember any of it. I hate him. I hate him more than anything else in the world. I would kill myself just to get him... Out. Of. My. Head!" He pulled his hair.

I grabbed his hand, pulling it towards my face and resting it on my cheek. "We all have things we hate about ourselves, Winter."

"Oh yeah? What do you have to hate about yourself? You don't have another person inside of you, and you haven't... What do you hate about yourself?"

I sighed and let go of his hand, looking up at the sky. "Everything. I don't know if you know this, but I've attempted suicide three times. Each time my Mum stopped me, and I was sent to hospital and they fixed me up. Somedays I get so sad I can't get out of bed. I'm the problem child. I fight with my Dad, I give everyone the silent treatment, I shout when people come into my room. Depression sucks."

"Do you have anti-depressants?"

I shook my head. "Mum was going to get me some but..." I thought about what Dan had said. That I couldn't have anti-depressants because if one of the newspapers found out then our family's reputation would be ruined. Plus, because I had a "Great life" I was overreacting, and it was all for attention. "Dan said no."

"He's an idiot." Winter replied bluntly. I laughed. "Yeah, he is."

We fell silent.

A few minutes later, I asked him if he was depressed. It took him a while to answer. "I wouldn't say I'm depressed. More... messed up in the head, I guess. I know I'm not normal, and I've always tried to hide it, but... well, look at me."

I looked at him. "You don't look out of the ordinary."

He turned to me and flashed a crazy smile, his head tilted and his eyes blazing. It was so different from his normal smile it made me shrink away. It looked like he was about to kill someone! "People said I looked like a psychopath." He muttered quietly.

"People said I was useless." I went back to looking up at the sky. "I mean, they're kind of right. I could have escaped so many times, but I haven't yet. It's so dumb. I'm falling for some pyscho. It's crazy! You literally stalked me, kidnapped me, left me in the basement for a week, punched me multiple times, and for some reason I can't get enough of it."

He was glaring at me when I looked back at him. "I'm not a psycho, Jace. Far from it. I just have a few things in my head that I guess people aren't really supposed to have."

"Like voices?"

"Yeah. Always whispering to me with their dumb little voices. I can never shut them up."

"I would hate to have voices." We fell silent again.

It started to rain. None of us moved in the slightest. We both just lay there and took it. I closed my eyes. I didn't even care that we were going to be soaking wet when we went inside. I just lay there, letting the thoughts run through my head.

Author's Note:

Hello everyone! I've finally ended My Foxy Lover. Sigh. I wish I hadn't, I wish the book could have lasted longer, but sadly, it didn't. Oh well!

Thanks for reading, my darlings!

Xoxoxo,

-Paige

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