Chapter twenty-eight

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Donut snored in his sleep. Winter moved around a lot in his sleep. I was the only one still awake, and because of their loud noises and movements, I couldn't sleep.

Instead, I got up and put on Winter's dressing gown.

I opened the bedroom door and looked out at the hallway. A bodyguard was sitting on a chair at the end of the hallway, reading a book. I closed the door and headed to the bathroom.

Winter had a spa bath in his bathroom. It was as big as my old bath, in Melbourne, so I quickly decided to run it. As I waited for it to fill, I heard movement outside in the bedroom. I stripped anyway, ignoring the noise. I lowered myself into the big bath and let out a sigh as the hot water touched my naked body.

Memories were running through my head of my first meeting with Winter. How much he had scared me. How much I had hated him. Our relationship was so different. Before Winter, I couldn't remember the last time I had smiled. Back then, I was contemplating suicide every single day of my life. I just wanted to end it all. I was so angry because nobody cared about me. Many would say if they found out that it was just for attention, when I self-harmed. Nobody ever did, but I still had the scars. Scars that nobody had ever noticed, and I didn't want them to. Even Winter hadn't taken a proper look at my stomach, because if he did, he would see the thin lines scattered across my belly. I was glad he hadn't. That was a secret I wanted to keep to myself.

I sunk deeper into the bath, listening to the creaking of the bed. Winter was obviously getting up. I didn't move from my position though. I knew if he was worried, he would start frantically looking around, and besides, I was pretty sure he could see the light from under the door anyway.

I stayed in the bath for about half an hour before I finally got up and put on a pair of boxers and opened the bathroom door, my face flushed and my hair wet. Winter was standing out in the balcony. I tilted my head to the side and took a step towards him.

"Go back to sleep, kid." He said without turning around. I blinked. Was that Winter? It sounded like him, except deeper. Angrier.

I trotted over to the balcony. Smoke blew in my face and I coughed, waving it away. "What the hell are you doing? Why are you smoking?"

He turned around and looked at me. "I told you to go back to sleep." He snapped.

Aiden. It had to be Aiden. Winter didn't smoke. "A-Aiden?"

"Ding, ding, ding!" He took another puff of his cigarette. "Are you going to listen to me or what? Go back to bed. You'll catch a cold."

I blinked. Though I knew it wasn't the time for jokes, I couldn't help running my hand through my hair and sticking my tongue out at him. "Aw, do you care about me?"

"Part of me does. Part of me has grown attached to the little prick living in our house." He replied, smoke floating out of his mouth as he spoke. It looked so damn hot. I liked the look of Winter smoking.

"I knew you cared about me." I leant on the railing, shivering as my arms connected with the cold metal. We were silent for a moment before Aiden spoke again. "You go through depression, right? So you get it."

"I mean... I guess so."

"Then tell me." He flicked his cigarette butt off the balcony. "How can I feel sad, angry, and happy, yet at the same time feel nothing at all?"

I blinked. Wow. He managed to put it in words. "You... I... I don't know. It's just like that. I can't do anything about it."

"Go back to bed." He grumbled. I sighed. "But I want to stay out here with you."

"At least go and get dressed."

"No." What if when I turned away he threw himself off the balcony? Now I knew he felt how I did, I never wanted to leave him alone again. "I don't want to leave you."

"You think I'll kill myself in the time it takes you to put on some pants?" A small smile appeared. "You're an idiot. Go back to bed or go get dressed." He pulled a lighter out of his pocket and lit another cigarette. I shook my head. "I'm not leaving until you come back with me."

He grumbled to himself and unzipped his jacket. Before I could realise what he was doing, he pulled me into his arms and zipped it back up. Now I was peeking out of his hoodie, barely able to see. "Better?" He asked me. I nodded, a blush spreading on my cheeks. He wouldn't jump with me in his arms.

I coughed as the smoke blew in my face again. "Hey!"

"You'll be alright. It's just smoke." He answered, resting his chin on my head. I turned red again. We were silent again for about two minutes. He reached the filter of the cigarette and stared at it.

"I'm sorry we kidnapped you." He said, holding the cigarette above the railing. I shrugged. "It's okay. You got me away from my family. I hate them."

"No. No its not okay." He was moving closer to the edge of the balcony now. I dug my heels in. "Stop. What are you doing?"

He was silent. Instead, he rolled up his sleeve, held out his wrist and pressed the cigarette the skin. He hissed in pain but held his ground. I swore and tried to pull his arm away, but he was stronger than me and I was wrapped in his hood. When the smoke had gone out, he pulled his arm back and looked at the mark on his wrist.

"Aiden! You're a fucking idiot!" I felt tears running down my cheeks. "Don't ever do that again. Please."

He unzipped the hoodie and I stepped out, turning to beat at his chest. "Don't. Ever. Do. That. Again!" I ended with an extra hard punch before wrapping my arms around him and burying my face in his chest. "Please." I whispered.

Every single bit of me expected him to push me away, but instead he wrapped his arms around me and began to lead me back to the bed. I was still crying as he lay me down and tucked the blankets around me. "Don't hurt yourself!" I sobbed, holding onto his sleeve.

He sighed and crawled under the blankets with me. I clung to his shirt and wrapped my legs around him. He lay his arm down beside my head and used his other hand to run his hands through my hair. We stayed like that until I fell asleep.

<><><><>

Somebody was shaking my shoulder. I opened my eyes. "Aiden?" I asked sleepily. Winter was looking down at me, holding a wet face washer to his wrist. "Wanna tell me what happened here?" He asked, pointing at his wrist. I blinked as I remembered what happened last night. "Uhm..."

"This really god damn hurts, Jace. What did he do to me?"

"A cigarette." I sat up and yawned.

"What?"

"He put a cigarette out on his skin."

"My skin! This is my skin, my body! Not his!" He shouted in my face. I flinched. "Winter..." I trailed off. Did Winter feel as depressed as Aiden did? Or did they feel different emotions? How did that work? "I tried to stop him."

"Great job. Well done." He grumbled, then stuck his tongue out in disgust. "Gross. I can still taste the tobacco on my tongue." He rushed to the bathroom and began to brush his teeth frantically. I followed him. "Winter... Are you depressed?"

"Why do you ask?" He replied, his voice muffled as he brushed his teeth. "What did Aiden tell you?"

"Nothing. Nothing." I leant against the door. He rinsed his mouth out with water and turned to me. "Do I taste like smoke?" He asked me, leaning in for a kiss.

I smiled and let him kiss me. "Yes." I answered when we pulled away from each other. He made an angry noise and started to brush his teeth again.

He didn't taste like tobacco at all. I just liked the feeling of his lips on mine.

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