Captive{ated}

Eighteen: Magic Hour

"Go away, Caleb," I said miserably. I had effectively locked myself in the bathroom though it had no lock. My feet were pressed against the sink cabinet, my back against the door. On our way back to the house after the ceremony and encounter with Issac, I was so sure that you were gonna lock me back in that dark room, or be angry, or hit me like your father.

Or something.

Instead, I got nothing, which was almost harder to handle. Instead you showed concern for me, wanting to care for my busted lip. You tried to assure me that everything would be okay after how shaken up I was by the ceremony and your father's words.

You only made it worse.

I escaped to the bathroom to hide.

"I just want to make sure you're okay," you answered from the other side of the door.

My shoulders slouched downward, lip throbbing.  "What did your father mean by a failed marriage?"

There was a soft thud on the door. I imagined it was you resting your head against it. "Our marriage won't fail," you answered.

"What happens if it does? What does it mean to fail?" I wanted to ask more, but I knew it would be a red flag: was a childless marriage considered a failure?

"Nothing is going to happen because it's not going to fail," you promised me. "I would never say that it did."

I choked up, the scene from earlier of the girl tied to the tree replaying in memory. "What happened to that girl... will it ever happen to me?"

"Never," you said immediately. The words you said next were meant to comfort, but they didn't help as you hoped. "You belong here. She was just some Outsider picked up off the street somewhere."

You made it sound like her life had no importance, but it did. Surely her life meant something to someone, and if nothing else, it was still her life to have, not ours to take. Then again, the people of the Village were good at taking things that didn't belong to them, weren't they?

It was silent for a few moments before I spoke again, "Can I please be left alone for tonight? I just need... time." I needed much more than that, but I knew it was all you could give me.

"Of course," you answered. You sounded genuinely worried. "If you need anything, I'll be downstairs in the living room."

I didn't stop you when I heard your footsteps retreat down the stairs. I didn't move from my spot when I was sure you were asleep. I didn't want to do anything, too numb and lost in my mind to care. It was hours before I finally, achingly made my way to the bed. As promised, I had the room all to myself, and by the time I woke up in the morning, you were already gone.

Normally sleep made me feel better, but I was still haunted that morning as I ate. I tried to clean in a lame attempt to distract myself, but a distraction wasn't what I needed. I needed space, air, a place where I could almost forget where I was.

It was then that I left our property by myself for the first time. I didn't take much to protect against the brisk October air since I was desperate for an escape. Not a true escape since there was no way out with people patrolling the fence, but a place I could breathe. With my head down, I stumbled through over the little hills and roots of the Village. I strayed from the path, not wanting to run into anybody, least of all you.