Captive{ated}

Seventeen: Scarred

I could almost feel a difference in the air as I went about my normal day, making it drag on longer than usual. It was heavier, quieter. The wind was stagnant, voices of the passing Villagers more of murmurs. The sun was starting to get lower in the sky. Normally you were back by now.  As I sat outside on the step of our house waiting for your return, I worried for the first time in a few weeks. It's not that I had any clear proof that something strange was going on. I just had that feeling.

When I saw you approaching from whatever you did that day, there was a slight crease on your forehead. Were those worry lines? You stared at your feet, your steps slow and deliberate. When you looked up and saw me, however, you plastered a smile on your face as if I didn't see the dread on your features. "How was your day?" you asked as you normally did.

"Is something going on?" I disregarded your question. I followed you inside to the kitchen, a shawl wrapped around my shoulders because of the slightly chilly air.

"Always so preceptive," you sighed as you grabbed a drink. "We're having a ceremony this evening."

"A ceremony?" I questioned. I didn't know my days of the week anymore, but I knew it was too soon to have another religious gathering. Normally I would just daze out during your father's crazed ramblings about Gods and what nots. I did the same whenever we would sit through our prayer at dinner. "We just had one a couple days ago. Is there a wedding or something?"

"Or something," you answered vaguely. It was obvious you didn't want to go into it probably so you wouldn't distress me. Little did you know, however, this only caused me more anxiety.

"Caleb," I sighed. "You promised no more secrets."

"I know I did." You looked so full of dread. My heart was racing, fingertips shaking. You grabbed my arms, pleadingly. "I promised you a warning from now on so that you're prepared."

"Wha-what's going on?" I stammered. I've never seen you like this before.

You shook your head. "Just listen to me. Stay sitting beside me. You will be okay."

It must be so bad that you're refusing to tell me, I thought. This revelation only made it worse.

Now it was my turn to shake my head. "Can't I just stay home?"

You looked like you wanted to say yes, but you said the opposite. "You're part of the Village now. You must attend this as you do everything else. If it was my choice-"

"Let me have my choice," I begged. My voice came out hoarse, nerves constricting my vocal chords.

You pulled me into you, your body a weight over my shaking form. With your arms wrapped around me, you could feel my fear vibrating through you. "You know that if I could, I would let you," you whispered. "Please, don't make me drag you. We must leave soon."

I remembered what happened at our wedding, the blood, the pain on my hand, the poor goat. I couldn't go through that again. My knees wobbled, and I leaned more of my weight into you. "I don't know if I can walk right now," I said weakly.

At my words, you pulled out a chair from the table and had me sit down. You kneeled in front of me, clasping my hands in yours. You looked desperate, perhaps mirroring my own feelings except that I was desperate to stay and you were desperate for me to go. Slowly, it started to dawn on me that there was no way out of this. "Please, Evelyn," you said my name with so much conviction. "You know I'm only asking this of you because I have no other option."

I couldn't say no, but with you, I knew I'd be okay. No matter how painful of an experience this would be. With a sigh, I nodded. You let out a breath of relief seeing that I wasn't going to fight you. It wouldn't do either of us any good. Still, you didn't look happy about the situation.