Him & His Muslimah

19

Zoya

Zoya lay on her bed facing the ceiling as she lazily scrolled through her Instagram feed. It was currently three twenty-eight AM and she was wrestling her mind in order for her to achieve sweet, blissful sleep.

After that unfortunate visit from Zaib and his family, she hadn't been able to get him off her mind. She got what she wanted: she could stay at university but there was something missing. It was like there was a gaping hole in her heart; something that she couldn't quite grasp.

It felt like emptiness.

Why was there emptiness when she had gotten what she wanted? Shouldn't she be overjoyed and content? Zoya had everything she could ask for yet there was this feeling she didn't understand. Her heart fluttered anxiously whenever she thought of Zaib's defeated frown. That solemn look on his face when she rejected him in front of everyone, his family and hers.

Was that really the right decision?

Zaib was one in a million for her. She'd never put that much thought into one guy. No man had unsettled her in the way Zaib had. He took over her thoughts and heart and she pushed him away. She refused the new life she was offered—a new life with Zaib.

Maybe it was for the best. Now Zaib would meet another girl: one much prettier and smarter than her; someone worthy of him.

Just the thought of some other girl marrying Zaib and spending her life with him made her heart feel like there was a rock weighing in on it. She had just met him a month ago, why was she acting this way?

Growing up Zoya had learnt to never give her heart to anyone but her husband. While all her friends got boyfriends in high school, Zoya watched and waited patiently. But like any normal teenager, she'd wanted to fit in with her friends: if they could do something she would be perfectly capable of it too. That's what led Zoya to her first encounter.

Flashback

It was a middle school party and everyone was super hyped for it, including her friends. Her best friend at the time, Sabrina Adams, had begged Zoya to come along as it would be their last year of middle school and everyone was going to have fun.

After two weeks of endless pestering, Zoya budged and agreed to go under the promise that it would be for an hour only and her friends and her wouldn't mingle with any boys. Her mother had agreed after being reassured from Sabrina's mom that Zoya would be safe.

As a young Muslimah, she was obliged to dress modestly and she did. It was an eloquent maxi dress, beige in colour and a scarf to match. Even at the age of fourteen, she had a modest sense of fashion and enjoyed practicing Hijab.

No matter how much protesting her friends did for her to remove her scarf for this one event, she firmly declined as she had already given in to the idea of going and there was no way she would give up her hijab in any case.

Sabrina's mother picked her up and drove her group of friends to the dance where upon entering, she instantly regretted it. There was deafeningly loud music blasting from every corner of the house. The EDM beats pounded in her eardrums and made her heartbeat fasten.

There was no alcohol as it was a middle school party, but people were passing around candies with bits of intoxication in them. Both genders were dancing and too disgustingly close for comfort. This was all too much to handle for Zoya as it went against every wall she had built up for herself.

She turned around to leave but at that moment, one of her friends managed to bump into someone holding a glass and had gotten injured due to it. The group panicked and took her to the nearest room. Zoya's instincts kicked in as she asked around for a first aid kit and took care of her friend's wound.