The Ex

CHAPTER NINE

NOW

I forcefully peel myself away from the memory of his lips.

It's been five long years since I last saw or heard from him and now I stand frozen, wide-eyed and in complete disbelief.

Regaining my composure, I plaster a smile on my face and approach our usual table where Liam, Sophie, and I lunch weekly. The unwanted presence of a fourth guest being the only difference. The beautiful view of downtown NYC provided by the floor-to-ceiling window is obscured by the man sitting before it. The vast room seems so much smaller with Ethan in it.

Acting as though my whole world hasn't been turned upside down I say, "hello," with what I hope sounds like enthusiasm. Clapping Liam on the back with more strength than required, he turns in his chair and looks at me with a sheepish grin. Ethan stands and I immediately wish he didn't. I take in his appearance; his hair is longer on the sides, his perfectly tailored suit accentuates his broad chest and narrow hips. He looks even better than I remember. Distance is the only protection I have and it's wavering with every step closer he takes.

He comes to a stop before me, that grin on his face takes my breath away. I never thought I'd look into those eyes again. I cannot help but feel conflicted; my anger at him is at odds with my attraction for him.

"Hi Char," his arm travels to the small of my back.

His soft lips meet my cheek and my eyes instinctively shut. My body's reaction is immediate; the contact makes my skin prickle to attention. I inhale his familiar masculine scent. Fighting the need to pull him close, I remain still in his arms. Noticing my reluctance, he lets go and takes a step back, putting some much-needed distance between us. He glances at the floor to hide the hurt in his eyes. I clasp my hands in front of me to stop myself from reaching for him. My heart breaks knowing I caused him sadness. Taking a deep breath, I remind myself that he was the one who broke it in the first place.

"It has been too long," I say keeping my inner emotional turmoil hidden.

"It has," he agrees, finally meeting my gaze with a smile that doesn't reach his eyes.

With a carefree grin, I motion for him to take a seat. Ethan rounds the table and pauses by my seat as if contemplating holding my chair out for me. Thankfully, he decides against it and goes directly to his own. The gesture would have been too intimate, too familiar. I take the seat beside him on the round table. Placing my hair behind my ear I look at Sophie with as much hatred as I can conjure. She innocently smiles back at me, taking a sip of her wine. The white table cloth set before us must be fascinating given all the attention it's getting from Liam. I am going to kill them both. As far as I'm concerned, our friendship is over. The awkward silence at the table is broken by Ethan.

"You should be so proud of what you've done with this place," he glances around the second-floor dining room. "The last time I was here, it was Giovanni's. I can't believe how much things have changed. It looks amazing."

"I took over when Gi- retired four years ago. I've spent that last two years making it my own," I reply with a small smile.

Ethan reaches for his glass, "he always said it was time for him to stop working but I never thought he'd actually do it."

"I have to chase him out of the kitchen when he comes to visit but he's enjoying his retirement," I say warmly.

He smiles into his wine as he takes a sip. When he returns it to the table, he looks at me with a meaningful expression, "I'm so happy that you fulfilled your dream."

I couldn't tell him that in every dream, he was standing beside me. I sit for a moment looking into his eyes wondering, what if? Imagining what it would have been like if he didn't move halfway across the world. If I had actually given up everything to be with him. If he didn't break me into a million pieces. Realizing the hurtful direction of my thoughts and that the past cannot be changed, I break eye contact and take a steadying breath, "how's work? Are you taking some time off to visit?"