To Zion

8

"I can't believe I haven't caught up with you all year. I'm really sorry. I kind of disappeared this summer."

Rowan put his hand on my shoulder, stoping me in my tracks, and cutting me off before I could apologize again.

"It's fine, Zion. Really." He smiled, his blue eyes sparkling with warmth. "If anything, I should be the one apologizing. I sit a few rows behind you and can see you every literature class. I really should have reached out sooner."

"Yeah, why didn't you?" We had left the building together, and were walking, with no destination in mind.

"Well, you seemed pretty happy with your friend, and...I don't know." He kicked the ground in front of him, and I watched him carefully.

"So you think I'd rather talk to Cooper than you?"

"Well, you gave up football, and we didn't really talk much, and I figured...well, I thought you were...moving on from that part of your life. And I sort of fell into that category."

"You think too much." I laughed.

"I know. But apparently, not enough to help my grades. I really think my work is still being affected by that concussion last year."

"But you got cleared a few weeks—

"I'm joking, Zee."

We kept walking, the only sound was Rowan chewing gum, a habit I didn't know I missed so much. It's not like we had been really close, but we had bonded over our home lives, and even if we hadn't talked much, we always felt close.

"I moved this summer. That's why I wasn't in contact with anyone in school." I found myself admitting.

"Oh..." He turned to look at me, trying to read my emotions before he said more. "I'm really sorry. I know the Mason's meant a lot to you."

I shrugged, trying to hide just how much they had meant to me.

"I know we don't know each other that well, but I think I know exactly what you are feeling right now. You don't have to tell me anything about it. I'm just saying...I know."

His hand was resting on my shoulder again. Rowan had always been an affectionate person, which a lot of people found strange in a tall, fit football player.

Before I could talk myself out of it, I leaned forward, resting my head on his shoulder, and wrapping my arms around his waist. He stiffened momentarily, his constant chewing stopped for a few seconds, before he relaxed into his normal attitude.

"I thought they were my last home." I whispered into his t-shirt, and I felt his arms wrap around me protectively.

I felt his jaw moving against my hair as he chewed, not interrupting me, but just letting me say whatever I felt I could say to him.

"The start of this school year was going to be five years." I felt my eyes misting over, and squeezed them tightly. I hadn't held this in all summer just to lose it all the second I felt strong arms around me.

"That must have felt pretty permanent." He supplied when I was too chocked up to continue.

"And I can't even blame them or anything. Austin got laid off, and they couldn't...they really tried to make it work, but-but..."

Words escaped me, and I inhaled deeply, breathing in the smell of mint and whatever detergent he used on his clothes. I felt his even breaths against my hair.

"They made sure that whoever I moved in with would keep me in this school."

"That's good. It would have been too much change all at once if they hadn't." He murmured into my hair.

"I miss them so much." I squeezed him tighter, even now, keeping myself from crying all over him. This was already going to be awkward enough when we finally pulled away.

And he really did know. Growing up in the foster care system, it was hard to make attachments with people and families. You just knew there was a good chance that that wouldn't be your permanent home. Rowan learned that very early on, and protected himself by not getting too attached to anyone. He had spent seven years with one family, and was almost inconsolable for months after he had to move. He told me about it a few weeks after we met. I don't know why, but we felt we could tell each other things like that, without even knowing the others birthday or favorite color.

"The new family treats you well?"

"Oh...yes, yes they are very kind. And they let me stay in contact with the Austin and Gloria."

"Good." He tilted his head slightly, and I felt tingles along my scalp and down my spine when he rested his cheek on the top of my head.

"You'd tell me if they didn't?"

"'Course."

"Good. I'm sorry, Zion. I was hoping you wouldn't ever have to deal with something like this."

I sighed, but knew that I'd already spent enough time feeling sorry for myself. I pulled away from him reluctantly, proud of myself for not leaving a tear stain on his shirt.

"Life happens to us all, right? The important thing is how we deal with it." I managed a small smile, and he nodded, looking a little misty eyes himself as he looked at me.

"Walk you home?" He offered, effortlessly keeping things from getting awkward.

"Why not?"