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I was in the car on my way to th doctors appointment and I had to keep reassuring myself 'y/n breathe it'll be fine' I slammed the car door behind me and almost wobbled into the waiting room. Within minutes my doctor had come out. 'Y/n?' I smiled and followed him through. 'So where do we start good news or bad news?' I rubbed my leg attempting to get rid of the sweat 'good?' He scribbled some notes on his clipboard 'you're results are back' he didnt continue meaning that was the only good news. Oh no. 'The bad news is there is definitely no cure we're still trying but its difficult, you still have 2 years roughly now also we're adding more meds for you to take.' My hands were shaking but I tried to calm myself. 'Thank you' was all I could get out my throat felt clogged. He handed me my new meds and showed me out he waved goodbye but I did not.

I sat back in my car and all of it hit me at once. I was going to die I was going to leave harry on his own I was leaving my friends, I was a bad person for making friends with them I was bad for not telling harry and when he did know he had no choice. I was a terrible person to make more friends and make more pain. I begun slamming my head into my wheel until eventually I passed out from both exhaustion and pain.

My eyes opened really slowly and everything was blurred but slowly it came into focus. I was in a hospital attached to a drip. I could see the heart reader beside me beeping at a steady rate . I wasn't even awake for a minute before a doctor rushed in.he held a hand to my head and I flinched as it hurt like fucking hell. 'one of the other patients here saw what you did' It took me a minute to remember and when it came flooding back to be I sighed irritated I had been spotted and now help would be forced upon me. 'I'm fine and I'm going home.' I tried to stand but he sat me back down.'you go nowhere' His voice was stern which made me follow as he said. 'your friends are coming to pick you up' that was what made me breakdown again. 'no please no I don't want them to know please' my tears had begun falling and I was almost on my knees begging but it was too late the boys were already there not the girls to my luck but the boys which made me feel weak and exposed.

I made direct eye contact with Harry and I felt my heart drop. They filled into the room and I didn't look at any of them only the floor as I could hear the doctor explaining what happened before leaving. my eyes firstly met Jide's who didn't look disappointed like I thought just worried. 'guys you need to under-' I tried to start but was instantly cut off 'just get in the car and go' It was JJ who was just staring at the bed. I shook my head and tore the drip out 'oh fuck off just sign the papers and I'll drive myself  home' I snatched the papers from Josh and walked to the reception to hand them in.

Ethan's pov

'Jide!' Harry raised his voice visibly angry. 'Look I get it, it wasn't the best way but it just gets to me when she becomes like this' He replied I butted in quite quickly. 'JJ we get that but think about how much she's going through' he hit his leg 'YOU'RE NOT THE ONE LOSING YOUR LIFETIME BEST FRIEND YOUR NOT THE ONE THAT IS HAVING HIS WHOLE LIFE AWAY FROM HIM AND I GET HARRY LOVES HER AND THEY ARE IN LOVE AND IT HURTS BUT SHE IS THE ONLY PERSON WHO EVER WAS ABLE TO BE STERN WITH ME AND GET ME ON TRACK AND I'M NOT QUITE READY.. to lose that.' he finished in a whisper a tear rolling down his cheek. we all came together in a group hug 'boys we need to talk more about deep stuff' Simon made clear causing us all to hum in agreement 'every Wednesday night sidemen house lounge and we talk no matter how busy' Vik decided to which we all agreed.

{A/N} You're girl is back on track, kinda, also sorry lol, please vote x}

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