Trust [Lams AU]

29

Trigger warning: drug mention, sex mention

A/N: In this chapter I talk a lot about mental illness and how John was able to cope with his. I know that mental illness is different for everyone and not everyone can cope with it in the same way. I hope that it doesn't offend anyone I'm just showing what works for one person. 

Enjoy!

Lafayette [To GSA Groupchat]: We're having a meeting today after school. Mrs. Mirk said has amazing news for us.

John smiled.

He was sitting on his bed, sipping his morning coffee and getting ready for the school day.

Mrs. Mirk had been teasing all of them about her "amazing news" for the past few days. Everyone knew that she was talking about the t-shirts arriving, but nobody dared to say it out loud.

John was overjoyed.

For weeks, John had poured his blood, sweat, and tears into those t-shirts. He'd devoted so much time and energy, so much love and passion and emotion to those t-shirts.

Though, if John was being honest with himself, it wasn't the t-shirts themselves that meant so much to him. It was everything that the t-shirts represented.

Those t-shirts had changed his life.

Before getting involved in the GSA, John had been nothing more than a sad, timid, friendless boy who spent all his time feeling sorry for himself. He had hated himself, had hated school, had hated life in general. Every day had felt like a chore. He'd dreaded waking up every morning, dreaded going to sleep each night knowing that he would have to wake up again in the morning and endure another terrible day. He'd been timid and insecure, hiding the only thing that made his life worth living, his art, away from everyone because he feared their judgement.

Now, John was happy. He had friends. He'd shown his art to people and had received praise and unyielding support. He looked forward to going to school every day. He looked forward to waking up in the morning and went to sleep with a smile on his face. He'd learned that it was okay to open up to people, that it was okay to be vulnerable and let people know how he was feeling. He'd learned how to be comfortable in his own skin.

Before those t-shirts, he'd been John the Drug Addict.

He'd been John the Psycho.

He'd been John the Faggot and John the Pothead and John "Nobody in Their Right Mind Would Touch Him With a Ten-Foot Pole" Laurens.

Now, he was John the Artist.

He was John the Child of Athena.

He was John the Roman Legionnaire.

He was John who was dating Alexander Hamilton, the most amazing boy in the world.

Those t-shirts had given him a reason to wake up in the morning, a reason to get out of bed besides his alarm-clock.

They had given him a reason to smile, a reason to laugh, a reason to live.

If John was being honest with himself, those T-shirts had saved his life.

When John got to school, Alex was waiting for him by his locker as usual.

"Good morning, Turtle Boy." Alex said as John approached him.

"Good morning, Little Lion."

John leaned in and kissed Alex's lips.

"Your lips taste like birthday cake." John said, grinning as he pulled away.