Chapter 40: Tears

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HOSPITAL - JIMIN POV


The doctors checked Y/N In the delivery room. The baby has a heartbeat, but it isn't strong and is getting weaker by the minute. We don't know if Stinky Butt will come out alive or dead. 

She has to deliver him like normal even if he isn't alive. She would have to push and push for a baby that is already died before it comes out. There isn't much time to save him. I hope our baby will live.

My Lovely girl worked hard. She hollered... screamed... cried... and used profanities (some I've never heard before). She squeezed my fingers until they were numb. She punched me in the arm, and she punches hard! She yelled at me, claiming it was my fault that she was having a baby. She said she hated me multiple times. Then a minute later she would apologize for her words. I was beat up and abused by this little woman. 

When she grabbed my hair, that was when I couldn't take another second. I was going to snap, but she slowly let go of me. She let out a deep airy breath and lay back on the bed. She was pale, soaking with sweat, eyes rolling to the back of her head. Her chest was raising up and down... She was breathing heavy like she had just ran a marathon.  After a minute she looked at me and grabbed my hand and smiled.

Y/N: "I did it?" The words barely escaping her mouth.

Jimin: "Yeah you did good baby." I say to her before pressing my lips against her sweaty forehead.

We took a moment to stare at each other. I want to remember this moment... how I felt when my girl gave me a baby. 

Jimin: "Guess what?" I say with a chuckle.

Y/N: "What?" She asks, still out of breath.

Jimin: "I'm a dad!" I squeal... kind of the way a teenage girl does. I am that happy.

Y/N: "And I'm a mom." She says with a tired smile on her face. She brings my hand up to her lips and kisses my palm.

Jimin: "And thank you... Thank you for having my son... You did well, my lovely girl." She breathes a sigh of relief and closes her eyes. I just watch her. Our little moment was interrupted by the doctor speaking.

Dr Yoon: "Hurry, take him." I hear him say to the nurse, who takes the baby to check him.

Nurse: "Doctor! He's not breathing!" The nurse says with urgency in her voice. Y/N's eyes shot open and she tried to move.

Y/N: "What's wrong with my baby? Tell me what's wrong!" She demands between sobs.

Dr Yoon: "The nurses are trying to resuscitate him now." He said this in a soft voice to help calm us down. 

Time went so slowly as I watched them work on our baby. I covered Y/N's eyes. She would just panic more if she saw. They are doing some sort of CPR on him. 

Nurse: "I don't think we can do anything else. There is no heartbeat at all now." She whispers to the doctor.

Dr Yoon: "Try for one more minute." He says in a low voice. But I heard it.  

This is when I broke down. My quiet weeping didn't go unnoticed by Y/N. She reached out for my arm. I pulled her into my arms. We cried and cried while hugging each other tight. 

I never expected this to happen. Is it my fault? Is there something that I could have done differently? Why is all of this happening to Y/N?  Every time things are looking up... something happens to her. What did she do to deserve this? What did I do to deserve this? 

Our sobs got louder as the seconds ticked by. Y/N was having a hard time breathing. She began to hyperventilate. I wanted to tell her it would be alright... but I couldn't... because it wasn't alright.  Another nurse came into the room and gave her a shot that calmed her down... almost to sleep.  

There were all sorts of noises in the room and people running in and out... clinking together of medical tools... machines beeping... I just cannot focus on it all. My mind is consumed with our Stinky Butt. 

Our Stinky Butt.... 





is gone. 




The grief was unbearable. I was crying so hard into my now sleeping wife's neck that I didn't notice someone tapping on my shoulder. I pulled myself off of Y/N and wiped the tears from my eyes as best I could. My eyes are still blurry.

Nurse: "You didn't notice that I was trying to speak with you so I had to tap your shoulder for your attention.....



......Would you like to hold your baby?" She says with a kind smile.

Jimin: "Huh? What?" I didn't understand.

Nurse: "Your baby... we were able to resuscitate the baby. Would you like to hold him for a minute before we take him to the NICU?" I reach out my arms to hold my... living.... Stinky Butt. 

Jimin: "Oh my God." I cry but this time in happiness. I wish Y/N could hold him, but she is sleep because of sedatives.

He is so small. He looks so fragile. He is beautiful. He has plump lips just like mine. I don't know what his eyes look like because they aren't open. I bring him close to my face so I can take in his scent and he smells like Y/N. I wish she were able to see and hold him.

Nurse: "Your baby is not out of the woods yet, but he is a little fighter." She nods as she takes the baby from me. I take in one last look at him before she takes him with her out of the room.


Today was a roller coaster ride. I can't wait for Y/N to wake up so she can see the baby...

Our baby is alive. It's a miracle.


Stinky Butt weighs only 2 lb-1 oz

Stinky Butt weighs only 2 lb-1 oz

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