Clint Barton

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Last chapter's winner was SilentGreekArcher , having said "meow meow"

It was time to pull out my ultimate weapon.

I, Clinton Francis Barton, would...

"Just go to the store already, Mr. Birdbrain," Peter smirked as he walked past me on the ceiling. "We need more snacks! Mr. Stark said he forgot to place his usual order recently."

"So it's Stark's fault!" I growled. Of course that evil little billionaire would scheme against me and all of the snack-lovers in the penthouse by 'forgetting' our wonderful treats. He would pay! They would all pay! Mwahaha!

In the next prank war, that is. What? I'm not a monster! Speaking of monsters...

"Hey, Clint. Have you seen my sweater anywhere?" Bruce asked, poking his head out of his lab. "Nat took it, and I don't know where she set it."

"I don't know, just go grab a new one," I suggested.

Bruce narrowed his eyes, as if wondering whether it was worth the trek up to his room from his lab. Knowing him, it probably wasn't. He and Tony were like that. He closed himself back inside the room, mumbling something about messing with the thermostat instead.

I sighed, pondering my options once again. If I really wanted my Nutty Buddies, I was going to have to suffer through a trip to the store. That called for another sigh. Why was life so cruel? What did I do to deserve the omission of my beloved treats? "I'm heading out, fyi," I told the omniscient voice in the walls, melancholy lacing my tone. I didn't get a response back, but I knew the AI heard me.

Half an hour later, I parked my motorcycle near the curb of a Walgreens and sauntered inside with one goal in mind: the purchase and retrieval of my delicious snacks. I wafted through the aisles, barely glancing them over with my eyes in favor of letting my nose do the seeing, not that they were easy to smell considering the amount of airtight packaging that was standing in my way.

It wasn't until I bumped into someone that I was startled from my food-induced delirium. "Holy fudgecakes!" I yelped, instantly taking note that the culprit of my temporary loss of balance was none other than Percy Jackson. Natasha ghosted behind him, sporting what I assumed to be Bruce's missing jacket.

"Nice save," Nat said, snatching a pack of - darn it, not Nutty Buddies - Skittles from the shelf and tossing them to the teenager. She took another look at me, really eyeing me up and down, before clearing out what was left of the stock without a word.

"I get that we live with pigs, but this feels like overkill," Percy muttered, struggling to hold the said snacks and the extra goodies his chaperone had shoved his way.

"Believe me, I know what overkill looks like, and this isn't it," the assassin responded easily. A part of me thought she was referencing the brutal murdering sprees of the Red Room, but then the other part of me remembered that she was present when Steve and Thor had that eating contest last month. She was, without a doubt, talking about the latter event, if that glimmer in her eyes was anything to go by.

"Find any Nutty Buddies?" I found myself asking.

"Nope," Percy sighed. "All this junk food and none of it was what you've been craving. Real bummer. It's not like you'll be able to enjoy the other stuff be-"

"I get it. It's stupid for me to whine about this when you're having issues with eating. No need to guilt trip me," I chuckled.

Percy scoffed. "Me? Guilt trip you? Never? Such a thing is absolutely preposirtuos!" I gave him an unimpressed look. "In my defense, no one actually says that anymore, so I'm basing how it sounds on what I've read. It doesn't help that I'm dyslexic."

"It's preposterous," Natasha sighed. "Next time you don't know how to pronounce something, ask. It'll be less mortifying in the long run."

Percy shrugged as best as he could, a lopsided smile resting contentedly on his face. "Look, when you've been turned into a guinea pig by a man-hating witch, mispronunciations don't feel as embarrassing."

"I feel like that was a major hint as to what's going on with you, but, at the same time, I have so many questions."

"So do I. Like, how can a spy walk right past his target," Percy smirked, nodding behind me towards a pack of Nutty Buddies.

Clouds gathered below the ceiling and parted again for a bright light to beam over the heavenly treat. Angels sang in the background. A dove descended onto the box. A loud booming voice resounded throughout the entire store: "This is my snack, which I love. With which, I am well pleased."

Or, maybe that was just my imagination combining my current idol with a biblical event.

"I'm an idiot. An unobservant idiot."

"You're not wrong," Percy chuckled, letting me pile on more packages into his precariously balanced loads of snacks.

"He's not right either. There is a reason he is successful at what he does," Nat commented.

"Are you complimenting me?"

We made eye contact. "No, I just choose whichever side you aren't on. Since you down talked yourself, I had to disprove you. Get your facts straight, Bird Brain."

"I can't. Having them jumbled up proves my point and disproves yours." She rolled her eyes, letting her lips quirk upward in that unique smile of hers. I felt warmth that I had done something right. As the only two Avengers that were normal humans, we had to stick together to keep things light if possible so that we didn't drown in our own self-doubt.

Not that we would admit to having self-doubt. Nah, this was more of an unspoken sort of thing.

Percy broke the moment, urging us to check out. "I'd hate to break up whatever this banter-flirting thing is, but this tower of junk is gonna fall any minute now."

A/N the plot has officially started. You don't know it, but I've hit the point of no return. You'll find out just exactly how later, but just know that it's happened!!!!!

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