/ words are pretty but let's get it down for real for real /
1. Writing poetry is tricky because one, it has to be true, but also two, it has to make sense. But not too much sense because no one really wants to know about your shitty life, you know? They want to relate.
2. I must be very self-absorbed because I am always writing about myself. Even when I write about something that is not myself, like politics, I end up making it about myself. Carol Hanisch said that the personal is political.
4. It’s difficult for me to see from outside my own head. Maybe I’ll be able to do that when I am older, they say we are selfish in youth.
5. Writing poetry is difficult, you start with something pretty to say but most of the time it ends up being a angry rant. Or a sad rant. Or a numbered rant, like this.
6. I don’t even know what the fuck this is.
8. It’s 4.09 in the morning and I should go to sleep. I wish I had something nice to think of before I sleep. But then, I haven’t had anything nice to think about since I was 8, maybe? Or younger. Maybe 3.
3. I can’t even remember the last I was truly happy.
9. Maybe I never was. Maybe I was born like this. Maybe its the genes, although probably not because there aren’t any mental cases on either side of my family. Expect an aunt who committed suicide because her husband wouldn’t take her back. And another aunt who left her husband and three children and ran away with a soldier from Punjab.
10. I think this was a quote in a Khaled Hosseini novel: some people feel unhappiness like others feel love, privately, intensely, and without recourse.
10. Or maybe all of that is bullshit, I always make a big fuss out of myself. I am just like everyone else.
10. We are all a little broken. I wish I could be more forgiving, of myself and of others.
