addicted - harry lewis

twenty three

"How have you been?" Jenna asked me after opening the store.

It was a good question. How had I been? I suppose there were a few answers to that question. To spare her from the long details of the past few weeks, I thought It'd be best to keep it short.

"I've been good," I faked a smile, leaning against the counter, "How have you been?"

"I've been fucking fantastic! My wife is pregnant! She surprised me with the big news a few days ago!" she jumped excitedly, a huge grin on her face.

"Holy shit, Jenna! That's amazing! Congrats!" I smiled, pulling her into a hug. I was well aware of how much the couple had been wanting to start a family and it put a giant smile on my face knowing that her dreams of becoming a mother were coming true. 

"Thank you!" she said.

The rest of my day at work consisted of the usual gossip between Jenna and I and helping customers. As much as I would prefer to stay home and be lazy, it felt somewhat nice to do something productive after having so many things happen in my life. Nearing the end of my shift, it felt as if my feet were about to break into millions of pieces. We only had a few more minutes before we had to close the store and I could rest my poor feet.

Before I had the chance to lock the doors, a girl with short strawberry blonde hair came walking into the store in a rush. She took a quick glance at the shoes displayed on the wall to her left before making eye contact with me.

"Hi! How are you doing?" I greeted her. Her eyes continued looking in my direction.

"Harvi, hi! I didn't know you worked here," she smiled at me. Did I know this person? Was I supposed to know her? She must've noticed my confusion because she spoke up seconds later, "I'm a Sidemen fan".

"Oh, that's cool! It's nice to meet you," I smiled at her and began approaching her slowly, "Do you need any help with anything?"

"I'm looking for a pair of plain black and white sneakers but I have no idea what I want," she laughed, "Do you have any recommendations?" 

"I might be a little biased but my favourite brand of shoes is definitely Vans," I chuckled, "Are you looking for low top or high top shoes?"

"High top. I actually quite like the look of Vans so I'm not too bothered by you being biased," she said as I led her over to the Vans section of the store.

After showing her a few pairs or Vans and trying them on, she ended up really liking a pair canvas black and white sk8-hi shoes. Once she had paid for them, she turned to me with a sad look on her face.

"I'm really sorry about what Harry's fans did to you," she said, "That must have been awful to deal with and I'm really proud of you for getting through it. You and Harry are so cute together and I'm glad you both are happy! You didn't deserve anything that happened to you,"

After having dealt with numerous nasty fans in the past few weeks, it was so heartwarming to hear this. Her eyebrows furrowed with genuine disappoint in Harry's fanbase as if she felt embarrassed on behalf of the ones that caused me hell. I gave her a big smile before passing her the shoes that she had just purchased.

"Thank you," I said, "That means a lot to me".

She returned the smile before exiting the store, which reminded me that it was finally time to close the store. Jenna and I did everything we needed to do before locking up the store and calling our Ubers. I could not wait to go to sleep. Once mine had arrived, I gave Jenna a hug and got into the car.

The car journey didn't take long at all, thankfully. I quickly thanked the driver before walking into the house. It felt oddly quiet as soon as I walked in, which concerned me.

"Hello?" I called out. No response. I immediately put together that Cal and Cal weren't home because they would always respond to me, but where was Harry? My heart began to race and I began to feel deja vu. This had all happened before. I pulled myself to Harry's room instantly with the hope that he was okay. As I went to walk into his room, I quickly peeked into his bathroom in search of my boyfriend. My eyes darted towards a body sitting against the bathroom wall. My body had frozen in shock, my blood felt unusually cold. I clenched my fists tightly as if holding onto myself would take away this moment.

Harry was sitting in a ball on the floor of his bathroom, crying into his knees quietly and desperately. An unfamiliar looking plastic bag sat and accompanied him on the floor, failing to comfort the hopeless boy. 

Yet, the powder inside the bag seemed very familiar. Too familiar.

"I promise I've been trying," his head turns towards me and his puddle eyes meet mine, " But I'm a fucking addict. I can't do this by myself anymore. I can't keep hurting the people around me because of my addiction. I keep falling back to stage one every time I think I'm making progress. I need professional help, Harvi".

I felt disappointed yet proud of him for finally making the realisation that he can't do this alone. Him seeking professional help would take a lot of pressure off of me, Cal and Cal. It wasn't something we could force him to do, but something he would have to decide for himself.

But was I partly to blame for this happening? Was I not there for him enough? Did the pressure of people cancelling him because of me get to his head? Is any of thing at all my fault?

I simply sat down beside him and rested my head on his shoulder, moving my thumb back and forth on his arm to calm him. I forced the tears in my eyes to dry so that he wouldn't feel any worse than what he already felt. His breathing slowed down to the same speed as mine before I eventually decided to speak up.

"Do you want me to find you a treatment centre?" I asked, my voice raspy.

"If that's going to fix me, yes please," he replied with a monotone voice.

After 10 minutes of researching and phone calls, we managed to find a place close by who had space to admit him whenever we were ready. I helped Harry up from the bathroom floor and took him to his room, immediately helping him pack a bag for the upcoming month he was going to stay. Once we had gathered together what he needed, my hands reached for Harry's car keys before we both sauntered down the stairs. My eyes wandered towards the lone plant that Harry had given to us to care for together.

The plant's leaves were withering.

Once his bag was in the car and we were in the front seats ready to go, Harry reached over and grabbed my hand which was gently resting on the handbrake. I gazed down at our hands with a smile. I felt calm, but heaven only knows how I'd feel if I looked into his eyes. I couldn't crumble now.

"Thank you," he muttered, a hint of fear in his voice. It was evident that he was avoiding looking at me too. I wondered whether he was feeling guilty or that he had let me down. There was nothing I could say or do that could ease his mind.

The journey to the treatment centre was short which juxtaposed the long journey to Harry's sobriety. If only I could fast forward the upcoming month, then I could breathe again.

(a/n: hi! i'm sorry i haven't been active. there's only going to be two more chapters left so please be patient with me <3 thank you!)