The way you deserve

1-Disgusting

Hiraeth

I lay in my bed reading my new novel which was delivered earlier today, I sigh, longing for yet another fictional character. I mean when you have no real romance, books are your only way to feel loved. The good ol bad boy trope tickles my pickle, oh but when the guy is a straight-up jerk, that's where I draw the line.

daddy issues

I keep on telling myself, one more chapter, just one more, and before I know it, it's 2 am.
With a groan, I get up from my bed and turn off the lights.
Trying not to overthink about the first day of school, thankfully though it's my last year, but that doesn't make it less scary.

But like someone great once said, fake it till you make it, and that's exactly what I do.
You'd never know what's going on in my head just by my face, sometimes I wish people did but then again, who doesn't wanna be mysterious.

I focus on making scenarios rather than focusing on the fact that I have school tomorrow. Reading so many books has resulted in my standards being super fucking high, unfortunately for me, that just means I'll die a single virgin lady with cats and dogs.

Because the kind of love I dream about is only fictional.

After an hour of tossing and turning, I finally fall asleep.

After my beauty sleep of 4 hours, I get up at 6:00 am for school and get dressed. I'm not a morning person, I hate waking up early, It makes me feel sick.

Like literally, it makes me wanna puke.

I pick out a nice soft teeshirt and pair it with straight-cut jeans and sneakers.

I'm a fashion icon.

I also really like talking to myself.
Is it because I'm a loner? No
It's because I'm awesome and a loner.

Usually, people get upset in their last year of school because they'll be separated from their friends and whatnot, but me?
I feel ecstatic about leaving school, it was a shitty hellhole that only made my  life worse.

I'm not like other girls *Peace sign*

Some things happened, thanks to my dad, which caused me to make sure I never get attached to any person.

Where's my dad, you ask?
That's a story for another day.

I leave my house at 7:00 and walk to school. It's beautiful walking in the morning, it feels peaceful. As beautiful as it is, it's also creepy, because there are hardly any people.

I could've just taken my car

I look at my reflection in the windows of supermarts and smile at myself
I'm not ugly but I'm not Gigi Hadid type beautiful either, my black hair comes till my chest, and my height stopped growing when I was 16 years old, meaning I'm stuck at 5'2 but it's okay, I'm curvy and a bit chubby, I weigh 65kgs but I honestly don't care, food makes me happy,

And hey! at least I'm not doing drugs.

I'm very self-confident because when all others do is put you down, you need to make sure to not do it to yourself.
My life at school is normal, I have friends, teachers like me and whatnot, because, well, I usually top my class.

I must

I'm either too zoned out or school is very boring because nothing interesting ever happens.

School ends at 1:30, so I leave the campus by 2 and start walking back to my home. Usually, around this time the streets are quiet but not this quiet, and it feels ominous, It creeps me out but I don't pay attention to it.