"I know ma. Stop fronting. Tell me you miss me." He kissed her in between his words, in love with the way her brown eyes dazed.
"I miss you. And your mouth tastes like pickles." She spoke softly, a smile taking over her face once he laughed.
"You wa...
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Dayvon put down his eighth shot glass of the night, deciding that one would be his last. The hennessy was getting to him, and since he'd been sober for the last three years, he was now a lightweight and couldn't down as many shots as he used to.
Was he upset that he just broke his three year sobriety? A little.
He was so overwhelmed with stress, and since he couldn't smoke weed without being terminated from his job, liquor was the next best option-'best' was debatable, of course.
"Thank you handsome. Have a good night." The bartender took the one hundred dollar bill and his receipt off of the table, and he didn't bother to respond as he walked away.
There was so much on his mind right now that he wouldn't be able to form a response even if he wanted to. Thankfully, he definitely didn't want to. No amount of shots in the world could make him forget about the fiancé he had at home.
Jasmine was the 'dream' woman of a lot of men. She had a great paying job before becoming a stay at home wife, she has a bachelor's degree in law, she's a good mother figure, she's sweet and she stays mostly to herself, she cooks and cleans-the whole nine yards. She's good in bed, too.
So why did Dayvon still feel like all of that wasn't enough? Even after proposing. It just always felt like something was missing-an entire part of him was missing.
He knew exactly what-well, who-it was. He just hated to admit it. At least out loud, he did.
Yet deep down inside, he knew how badly he missed Autumn. He knew the reason he didn't want anymore kids was because they wouldn't come from her. He knew the reason he hadn't allowed Jasmine to start planning their wedding was because a part of him was still hoping to get his happily ever after with Autumn.
He knew even when he proposed that he still wanted Autumn. Nobody could ever replace her. She was the literal heart outside of his body, even after all these years. He would never be able to let her go and he wasn't mad at that.
He was mad because he couldn't admit that out loud to Jasmine, but neither did he want to. He kept her around because he also knew that him and Autumn would never be a 'them' again. He wouldn't allow it to happen. She'd hurt him too badly and he didn't think he could ever forgive her.
She'd hurt their son too badly.
Hurting Dayvon was one thing, but his child? The same child they created together who now walked this very earth because of the love they once shared. A love that Dayvon was unfortunately still holding on to. He couldn't forgive her for that.
He couldn't forgive her for all of those times he had to answer August's 'Where's my mom' questions on his own; or her not being there for all three of his birthdays, and most likely his upcoming fourth birthday as well.
