Back To You | BOOK #1 OF ITS YOU TRILOGY

25. hopeless

Kaydon

It's almost their last game till championships. If they win, of course. Losing isn't an option here. The girls have been practicing every day and their coach thought its a great idea to have a practice on a Saturday.

The guys and I are playing basketball with Ty's little brother, Travis. Their dad left to go to work and Steph, their dad's girlfriend is inside cleaning the house.

"And 3!" Travis shouts and the ball goes in the hoop.

"Okay, maybe I should just never play for the basketball team." Blake pouts, sitting on the driveway.  I pat him on the shoulder while taking a drink of my water bottle.

"Me too."

Ty chuckles and messed with our hair. I look at Travis who's doing layups. The effort he puts in is crazy for a 10 year-old. Blake is also mesmerized and his jaw is wide open. I shut it and he glares at me.

"My dad was never on bored with him and basketball until now," Ty sighs while sitting down. "I'm glad he has an option for what he's going to do in the future."

Ty's right, though. He never had a choice on what he was going to do. His life was set by his dad but never in a strict way like Harry. Ty just never had a chance to talk to his dad about it.

He loves football, a lot. His dad loves it a whole lot more. Ty just never felt free from it, especially when Harry took us. His dad wanted what was best and he thought being with Harry was better. It broke his dad's heart.

A heart that was the most broken out of the three of us was Ty. His mom left, his dad thought getting a girlfriend right after was a good idea, and of course being sent away from his only home. He's been through hell and back.

"Travis is lucky," Blake mumbles and we all agree.

"Boys come on in, I made lunch!" we hear Steph and Travis immediately runs in with his basketball.

"Take off the shoes, Travis!" Ty shouts with a sudden smile.

**

"What are you going to do?" Ty nudges me as he sits down between me and Blake on the couch. I give him a confused look and he rolls his eyes.

"You leaving. Sierra chopping your head off before you hop in the car." he says. This time I roll my eyes and I lean back against the couch with no clue what to say.

I literally have no fucking clue. The girls are coming over in a few and I don't want them to see us all frustrated over it, plus Sierra can't know. The mom's don't even know and I'm just hoping it can only be the guys.

I don't know if I should even tell Cam or Parker. They would be crushed and I'm not ready for Parker to slap me in the face.

"Well what is he going to do?" Blake asks. "All he has to do is wait and hopefully it's after the championship game."

I sigh, "Harry says I don't have a lot of time. Championships is literally in 2-3 weeks. I don't have that much."

I see the guys struggling with an answer and I realize how defeated we are. I won't have time to even make it to their championship game. The game where they have been dreaming to play for.

"Can't we talk Harry out of this?" Ty sits up a hit and I shake my head.

"He won't budge. I'm going to be leaving no matter what-"

"YOU'RE WHAT?"

The three of us turn around to meet with Cameron and Parker's eyes. Parker was in the middle of putting her hoodie on and Cameron was opening a bottle of water. Their jaws are open and Steph is frozen in place with a bowl of fruit in her hands. Oh, god.

"Tell me you're joking and what I heard is a joke." Parker says coldly and no one says a word.

I slowly shake my head and Steph immediately runs back into the kitchen. Ty hops up and mumbles a "be right back", and headed to where Steph is. Blake pats my shoulder when Parker and Cameron walks up to me.

"You're leaving?" Cameron asks and her voice is quiet. I don't know how to respond so I play with Sierra's spare hair-tie on my wrist that I stole.

"Kaydon, please explain!" I turn to look at them and they both look like they're about to cry. I look over to Blake who is staring at the ground.

I sigh. "Harry wants me back. He wants me to come back to see all the offers I have." I give a dry laugh while explaining.

"He thinks that Elwood is better for me and I can have a better career there. He doesn't want Ty or Blake because he thinks I'm the bigger picture. And you know what I think?" I pause and they both remain silent. "I think that that's bullshit. It shouldn't be me, it shouldn't be anyone. He doesn't give a shit about how we feel and I'm so sick and tired of it."

I feel myself getting heated up and a hand is rested on my arm telling me it's okay to stop. The one person I actually want to tell of this to is not here and I can't even tell her because it'll break her heart.

"I fu- I just- I can't." I can't even get my words right and I rest my head in the palms of my hands, staring at my feet. I try and breathe but everything is suffocating me in and I feel like I'm trapped. Trapped  in a space where I can't even stick out my arm without touching something. Trapped to where I can't breathe.

I get pulled into two warm embraces and I just stay like that. No tears, just trying to breathe.

"I'm sorry," I hear Parker whisper. Cameron pats my head and lets go. Parker does too.

I see Ty walking back with Steph and they both dit down across from us. Then my heart stops as I hear the front door open and a voice that makes my whole world stop.

"Hello! Sierra is here!"

Cameron and Parker immediately runs into her hugging her and I try and calm myself down. Everyone plasters on a smile and Blake gives me a look.

"Why is everyone so quiet?" Sierra sits down next to me and I shrug.

"We were waiting for the loud one to come." I tease and she shoves me giving me a glare.

She reaches for the remote and turns it on and starts flipping through the channels. I feel myself relax a but and the guys are talking to Steph and the other girls. Cameron and Parker give me supportive thumbs-ups and Steph gives me a quick reassuring smile.

I forget about what happened a few moments ago and I just focus on what's going on right now. That time can wait but my moments with Sierra can't. We don't have time.

I rest my head on her shoulder and she looks at me with a confused look but she just grins. The grin I fell in love with every time I saw it. I take in her scent and her presence. I remember the way how she just melts to my touch.

My heart aches so much for the shit she's been through and how much longer will it last. I start to feel anxious and angry. I feel nervous and so scared for what Sierra and I have left. I have to make things worth it. I'm feeling so utterly hopeless.

**

a/n

SO UNEDITED EW OMG.

anyway. NEXT CHAPTERS WILL BE MOSTLY KAYDON AND SIERRA AAAAH. :)

yall r not ready for THE chapter. its going to be SUPER long.

IM JUST THINKING ABOUT WHENEVER I FINISH THIS BOOK IM GOING TO BE CRYING.