figure you out ✓| Bucky Barnes [ENG]

0.09 || alone

After we gave Nathan back to his father, Cameron, on the same night and then we went to Aarons apartment, ending up talking all night. In the morning we got up together and went to work. Michael didn't call and I wasn't sure if I should be relieved or hurt. What definitely hurt me though, was the fact that Bucky didn't say a word ever since. He didn't call or message me. Which makes me start to believe he is regretting what happened between us.

In the end, I stayed another night at Aaron's.

So today it's monday and it's a quiet day at the bakery. I stay in the front all day to just bake some donuts and serve the guests. Until Bucky walks in. When he sees me, he stops right where he is standing, which is at the door, blocking all the guests.

He takes a deep breath and comes over to me.

"Hey" He says with a raspy tone that tells me something is wrong. Everything starts to contract inside me, in a hurtful way. I can't hold it back.

"Are you regretting kissing me?"

His absolute surprised look calms me down a bit.

"Why would you think that?"

"You're ignoring me, kinda. And you look almost unpleasant to see me. Did I do something wrong?"

Bucky looks me in the eyes, his forehead in wrinkles.

"Can we talk alone?" He looks uncomfortable.

For a moment I think about it, silently staring at him, then I turn around and go to the kitchen where Aaron is doing the dishes.

"Could you please be the cashier for a few minutes? Bucky is here to talk."

"As he should. Go."

"Thank you."

Bucky and I leave the bakery. I hide deeper into my scarf in the freezing cold.

" I do not regret kissing you." He starts and makes my heart beat faster.

"Do you?" He wants to know and shocks me with that question.

"No" I say and for a second I believe to see relief in his face.

"Why are you behaving so distant then?"

" I never asked you if you were free. " He begins. "Back in the forties, I just had to look for a woman's ring but nowadays it's so much harder to see if people are having boyfriends or girlfriends." He didn't see me in the eyes.

The butterflies in my stomach go insane.

"I am free", I whisper because I want him to know.

"Are you really?"

"What do you mean?"

He looks at me now and stops walking.

" I mean Aaron and you. You look very close and I cannot tell if it's in a romantic way or another stupid modern kind of relationship."

Is he...jealous? No, he can't be.

I start laughing. Not because I don't take him seriously but because all my worries just flew away.

"What's so funny?" His eyebrows tighten and I can see he has no idea what's going on.

" Aaron is gay. Like...as gay as one could be. I am not interested in him romantically."

"Gay?" Confusion is overcoming him in all possible ways.

"But you cuddle."

I smile at him. The big rock on my heart is gone now.

"That's because I cuddle with everyone I like in the slightest way. I love hugs. They are my love-language and I don't have to use it only on people I romantically love. Aaron and I have been friends for eleven years. We went to college together and ever since we have been inseparable. We talk about literally everything and spend every free minute together. He is my best friend, my brother, and I love him. "

Bucky exhales loudly and closes his eyes.

" I'm sorry I made you feel like this. There are still many things to learn for me."

I gently touch his arm. "It's okay. As long as you talk to me."

Finally Bucky smiles too, till he doesn't.

"Michael is worried about you."

I growl.

"And he is really sorry for leaving."

"I doubt that."

" Don't"

"He is leaving me all alone on Christmas, Bucky. Because he prefers a bunch of water over his little sister. "

Bucky falls silent at my words, nodding and looking at the floor.

" My best friend used to desperately want to be in the army. He tried every year, for many years. And he didn't do it for fun or - today it would be money. He did it because he wanted to make a change. He wanted to fight for those who couldn't. To honor the fallen ones. What I want to say is some people just belong somewhere. You belong to the bakery and your brother to the navy. There is nothing that could change that."

Now I am the quiet one. I understand what he is saying but it doesn't change the feeling of being left behind. I Look down, feeling very small in this big world. And then, the least expected thing ever happens: Bucky pulls me into a hug. I immediately wrap my arms around his strong body, inhaling his scent and wishing this would never end.

"Thank you" I say, remembering saying that hugging is my love-language, realizing that Bucky is speaking the same language as I do.

"Would you like a donut now?"

"I'd love to."

So we went back to the bakery.

"Just take a seat, I will get you something."

Bucky nods almost shyly and chooses a table near the checkout.

Through the next hour Bucky and I exchange soft smiles. Sometimes I get so distracted by the feeling he causes inside me, I forget other customers. After an hour he stands up and comes over to me.

"I'm leaving now. Sam needs a strong hand to help him on the boar" He points at his gloved hand and smirks, which makes me giggle. I'm so happy he can finally talk freely about it with me and feel comfortable enough to joke about himself.

He comes closer, puts a hand on my lower back. Our faces are just a few centimeters apart.

My eyes fly to his soft looking lips and then he finally kisses me gently. My legs feel like pudding so I wrap my arms around his neck to get some stabilty. He ends the kiss way too soon and smiles shyly at me, whispering a "Bye".

"Such a gentleman" Aaron smirks as soon as Bucky leaves.

I blush. Alone the thought of Bucky makes me almost explode inside. The feeling of his lips on mine is still present and I start to miss him even though he left like two minutes ago.

"So are you speaking to Michael today?" Aaron asks after I told him what we were talking about an hour ago

"Maybe tonight. " I say and go back to work.