Alpha Wants Us

Chapter 3

Death is a hard thing to go through. I mean, losing someone is hard. Not only because you will most likely never see them again, but because of facing the reason they died, or how they died. Sure, it's easier to cope with the loss of someone who was struggling for a long time and they finally die a peaceful death. Or when they just die of old age..... I don't think that hurts.

But when your parents are brutally murdered by rogues, that's hard. And then your brother is murdered by them too, only four months later? Now, that is hard to deal with. So you can imagine what I'm going through.

Actually no. You can't.

You can't imagine the pain that's in my chest or the coldness that has seemed to become my friend. The pain won't go away. It's like a tiny hole was poked into my heart and every day it just gets bigger and bigger until I don't have a heart anymore, till I don't feel anything. Nothing matters to me anymore. Everything I lived for was taken away from me.

"Kat? Kat, can you hear me?" A soft voice asks.

I know they know that I'm awake. They know it, too. They know I've heard every word they have said since I found my brother's mess of a body on my closet floor eight days ago. I haven't responded to a word they threw at me. I've barely done anything.

"Kat, I know you're awake."

I showered daily. Ate probably every two days or so. I've heard the same three voices for the past eight days. They creep into my room, thinking I don't hear them, which I do. Some times they sit on the edge of the bed or just pull up a chair.

"Look, I just want to talk."

I'm not in my bedroom, or in my house. As far as I'm concerned, I'm somewhere far from there and all the memories.

"The funeral went well." The voice says just above a whisper.

I silently stiffen and ball my fists.

"I brought some of the cards and things from some people in the pack."

Silence.

"Every one asked about you."

Silence.

"They all wondered where you were and when you are coming back."

She sighed.

"I guess I would like to know, too."

Her voice got choked up and I could tell she was trying to keep herself from loosing it. Again.

"I just have to say this and I know you don't want to hear it, but I've thought about it and talked to Alpha and he says you need to hear it, too."

Well, this can't be good.

"Your parents wouldn't be happy with what you are doing to yourself. Neither would Trey. They loved you and did everything they could to make you happy and you were." She took a deep breath. "They tried so hard to give you the life you deserved and now you are throwing it away. You are being a coward, Katherine. They died for you, it's what they wanted to do. But now you are acting like their deaths were for nothing." Her voice was clipped and held an edge to it.

By the end of her little speech, I wanted to slap her right off the chair I knew she was sitting on and beat the living crap out of her. I'd tell her that none of that was true. But there was a tiny voice in my head that held me back and told me what she said was true. I am a coward. I am using them. They did want me to be happy. I was.

"Well, I'm going to go get ready for the party. Its in like three hours."

Wait for it......

"You don't have to come, if you don't want to. I can just get Lucy to come with me."

There it is.

The guilt trip.

Ever since me and Alex met each other, back when we were like six, we have hated Lucky with a passion. It was the reason we became such close friends actually. I hated her, she hated her. We just went together.

"Alpha thinks it would be good for you to go."

Alpha thinks anything would be good for me right now, as long as it's not laying in a bed with my eyes closed, ignoring everyone.

We sat in silence for a few more minutes and I knew she was praying I would object to her going to 'the party of the year' with Lucy and not me. 

"Well, I'm gonna go get ready." She stood up and I waited for the door to close before finally cracking an eye open. The light is blinding and I quickly snap my eye back shut before I damage my cornea.

I groan and then go into a coughing fit and end up rushing off the bed and emptying what little was left in my stomach and some other burning liquid.

After what felt like hours of hugging the toilet, I get myself off the floor and stumbled to the shower.

I let the steaming water wash over me and thought about just how much alcohol should be my limit for tonight.

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I think its really weird that you guys like don't even know the main character very well or any of the characters actually but I'm kinda just writing what ever pops into my head right now.

Very unorganized I know. It's so unlike me.

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~KB