Chapter 17 - A Certain Horizon

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After watching Eye in the Sky with Alan, I was ready for a deeper dive into his work. However, purchasing the DVDs of all of Alan's movies would require a large financial commitment. The actor had made more than forty films, and I didn't have the cash to purchase that many all at once.

Alan said he didn't want me to spend money on his movies. "This was how I made my living," he said. "My career as an actor was only one aspect of my life. I am proud of my work, and I'll always remember the joy these projects brought to so many. I appreciate that you respect me as a person and want to share in the joy. But I'd prefer that you save your money and spend it on other necessities."

As a result, I promised Alan that I wouldn't use my money to buy his movies. Around the same time, a friend had told me about a new local Internet TV supplier. A large amount of on-demand content was supposedly available through their streaming box that was not accessible elsewhere. Although I didn't want to get my hopes up, I expected that this product would give me access to more of Alan's movies in addition to lots of other entertainment.

So one Friday afternoon after work, I stopped by the store to view a demo. I was impressed that the device appeared to be as robust as my friend had said. So I purchased one and went straight home to set it up in the living room.

Once the box was ready, I fired up the movie app and typed you-know-who in the search field. To my amazement and delight, more than forty thumbnail icons resembling movie posters filled the screen in reverse chronological order from Alice Through the Looking Glass (2016) to Romeo and Juliet (1978). It appeared that Alan's entire film career was now available to me at the click of a button. I could feast on this cornucopia for months.

I chose not to read any plot summaries so that I could watch each title with no preconceptions. I could look up background information later if I so desired. In most cases, I wasn't aware of what characters Alan had played or if he'd had a large or small role. I also had no clue what the stories were about or if they were comedies or dramas. Since I didn't know what to expect, each one would be a surprise and a treat.

Scrolling up and down the list left me feeling totally overwhelmed. So I asked out loud, "Alan, where should I start?"

No reply.

Then I remembered something. A few months earlier, a short clip from the 1990 movie Truly, Madly, Deeply had played on YouTube after some interviews of Alan. I was going to turn it off, but I was enraptured by the scene. Alan was singing and plucking a cello on his lap while Juliet Stevenson sang and danced around the room.

Based on that scene, I thought I would enjoy Truly, Madly, Deeply as it looked like a charming romance. So I decided to stream that film on my new TV box while eating dinner that evening.

Since I knew nothing about the storyline, I learned what the film was about after listening to Stevenson's opening lines. I was expecting a lighthearted romance when instead I found myself watching a woman in mourning, devastated by the loss of her partner, Alan's character Jamie. Stevenson's character Nina spoke of how she often felt Jamie's presence and heard his voice. Later, Jamie appeared to Nina to console her and ultimately help her to move on from her grief.

I had no idea that death, grief, and spirit interaction were the subjects of this film—subjects that Alan and I had been discussing. I grew increasingly uncomfortable and almost turned the movie off halfway through. What were the chances that Alan would be playing a ghost in the first film I selected? Did he guide me to this title?

Shocked and upset, I cried aloud, "Alan! Seriously? I wasn't ready for this. Why did you let me watch this movie?"

Alan's laughter thundered in my head.

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