The Step Brother

9. It's Our Little Secret.

Willow

Her alarm goes off the next morning. Plus tôt by Alexandra Streliski. Her eyes open slowly to the sound of the piano notes. It's probably the first time in her life that she hasn't woken so suddenly. Normally she gasps herself awake, as if the routine nightmares were drowning her in her sleep. She jolts. She's even fallen off the bed a few times. Sleep has never been a peaceful experience for her, it doesn't come easy, and she dreads it. She either can't fall asleep, tosses and turns, or wakes up throughout the night. At 4 years old, her mother brought her to the doctors, wanting an explanation for why her daughter screams through the night but doesn't remember any of the dreams she was having. They eventually explained that it's common among children who have been abandoned by a parent. But that always felt like a lame explanation. How can you miss something you never even had?

She shuts the alarm off. She's lying on her side, facing Jace, who faces her, still deep in sleep. He's not even phased by the alarm, which is good. Because for this moment, she allows herself to look at him. To look at him in the ways she wants to. There's no one, not even him, around to catch her. Though it's not as creepy as it sounds.

His dark brown hair is in disarray and she notices the slight shadow across his cheeks and jaw. If he were to open his eyes right now, she'd be greeted by that hazel gaze of his that holds her hostage every time he looks at her. His full lips are slightly parted. They look so soft, like cotton candy. She wonders— if only for a second— what it'd feel like to kiss him. In her wildest thoughts, she imagines leaning over and stealing a quick kiss. It may be the only chance she ever gets to kiss Jace Quinn. But she doesn't move. She lays there and admires the boy sleeping in her bed. He's like a cross between Sebastian Stan, Austin Butler, and Henry Cavil. He's too beautiful to be true.

Why do you have to be my step-brother?

At that thought, she snaps out of it. She gave herself a few minutes to admire him and now that time is up. It's time to return to the world where they don't have feelings for each other and everything is normal.

She lifts a hand to his shoulder, gently shaking him. "Jace?" She whispers.

His eyes only open halfway, enough to register it's her shaking him. They fall back shut after a second and he slowly starts to stir awake, nodding his head.

"Sorry, I wasn't sure if I should wake you." She keeps her voice low.

"What time is it?" That morning voice again. It gets her.

"6:30." She sits up a little. "You can stay in here while I get ready if you want."

"That'd be nice." He smiles sleepily, getting more comfortable under the blanket.

She smiles at the sight. She picks up her clothes for the day that she chose last night, along with her toiletries and makeup bag. She takes her time in the shower, letting the hot water wash over her and wake her up more. She spends that time in the shower working things out in her head and trying to justify the fact that for the first time in her life, she had a boy sleepover in her bed. Not any boy, her step-brother. The only justification she can provide herself is that nothing happened between them. This fact does little to relieve her of the anxiety she feels knowing Mom would flip out if she were to ever find out.

As she completes her morning routine of getting ready, her mind is occupied with all things Jace. Usually she's exhausted in the mornings, not having achieved any sufficient sleep the night before. She relies on coffee and Red Bull to get her through the day. But this morning, she feels refreshed. Alive. As if she'd gotten the best sleep of her life last night, and if she's feeling this way, maybe it's true. She's scared to jinx it.

When she comes out of the bathroom, she leaves the bedroom light off since the sun is already spilling into her room through the blinds. The room fills with the steam from her shower. She's always enjoyed scalding hot showers. She makes her way back to the bed where Jace has fallen asleep again, his eyelids fluttering. Like she did earlier, she gently shakes him.

"Hey," Her voice is quiet. "I think your alarm's about to go off any minute."

He nods tiredly, sitting up and then stretching as he yawns. She tries not to look at his bare chest, those pecks, the abs that she hasn't been able to count yet, the muscles that form his upper arms. Why does he have to be so hot?

"How'd you sleep?" He asks, his voice still hanging onto the last remnants of sleep.

"Actually, really good," She admits. "How about you?"

"Your bed's a lot comfier than mine, that's for sure."

"Thank you," She says. "For coming in here last night and... staying. It means a lot."

"Anytime. Do you remember what your dream was about?"

She shakes her head. "I usually don't remember them."

"So, this is, like, a normal thing for you?"

"Ever since I was a toddler." She's not sad about it, not after this long. It's simply a part of life. "We've tried everything; sleeping pills, therapy for sleep hygiene— which is just a fancy way of saying you're setting a bed time and doing what you need to prepare for bed— different mattresses and pillows, throwing out caffeine. Nothing seems to work."

Until you slept next to me, she thinks but she doesn't say this aloud for obvious reasons.

"That sucks. I'm sorry." He lifts the blankets off himself and slides out of her bed, doing another stretch as he stands. "Well, obviously if you ever need anything, you know I'm just a bathroom away. I'm going to hop into the shower really quick."

"Jace?"

He turns to look at her. "Yeah?"

"I can trust you not to tell anyone about this, right?" She feels stupid asking but it's a legit concern.

"Promise. It's our little secret." He smiles before closing the bathroom door behind him.