ELAYNE

All I want Is

She was mad at me and I couldn't do anything to stop her from leaving.Her tears tore my heart and left me in a void. She meant the world to me ...She was always my world. I wanted to tell her everything but something inside me felt scared.So Scared that she might leave me out in the cold and run away. She was screaming about the letters that I have been hiding. She was noticing the love I have hidden inside my heart. A part of me couldn't stop bringing up the old memories that were stored in my heart while the other part of me was forcing me to forget it all and start a new life. Only if there was an another way to make everything alright.
I hugged her with all my strength , keeping her close to my chest. Her sobs were hitting me like a lightning . The rain was only getting heavier outside, making her cry louder . I wanted to tell her how much I loved her , wanted her , needed her but my throat was frozen . I couldn't let out a single sound from my throat. I felt helpless to watch her like that..and that too...because of me.
The last thing she told me was to never contact her again. She sounded seriously scary. Her words cut through my heart. I wanted to pull her into my embrace again but my body was shook by what it just heard. "There's no way she meant it ...right?" I asked myself.
She pushed me away with all her strength , making her way towards the front door.I couldn't watch her leave . All I could do was turn around away from the door , just so I won't see such a painful sight..

...

I didn't hear the sound of the door slamming. The sight I saw after turning around towards the door made me go breathless. Ina was on the ground, unconscious. A sudden panic caused my hands to tremble hard. I shook her aggressively hoping that she'd wake up but she didn't. She was laying there like a lifeless body.
I took her on my shoulders and went straight to the nearest hospital. They directly took her to the emergency room. I was going crazy.. I wanted to scream.. I wanted to cry... I felt numb.
I dialled Lola's number and asked her to hurry. She reached there within ten minutes, with a crying face and a messy outfit. She hugged me before bursting into the room where Ina was. The doctors made her wait outside. I felt broken by what was happening. Lola then approached me, asking about what had happened.
She didn't knew about our fight or that Ina was going back to live with her again. Lola was trying her best to keep me calm but she herself was panicking way too much.
"She'll be... Alright. Okay? She's fine.." She said.
I nodded. I could feel the skin on my face tensing up.
"Dont you feel that it's getting worse?"
she asked.
"...I don't want to believe it like that."
Just as I closed my mouth, the doctor called us into his cabin.
"please take a seat" he said.
we both shared quick glances and took seat on the chairs in front of us.
"Is she okay?" I asked , trying my best to keep my composure.
"ahhh...About Ina" he started , hitting the pen on the desk and reading through the paper in his hands simultaneously.
"Uhmm..Ina seems to have gone a bit severe . Does she get enough sleep?"

"yes doctor. She gets nightmares often but her sleep is not interrupted." lola replied.

"ahhh I see... Let's take this slow rather than putting her under more stress. I'll prescribe some medicines at the moment , make sure to daily give them to her . Avoid confusing situations that can add pressure to her..OK?"
we both nodded.
"We can see if there's any improvements after a few weeks." he said.
Lola thanked the doctor and the both of us made our way to Ina's room.
Lola went inside and called her but she never showed any sign of waking up. Her still body made me weak in my brain.I was feeling helpless and lost. Lola then convinced me to meet her but I was anxious about our fight. I never wanted to put her in a stressful environment. Lola didn't force me and I couldn't watch her on that bed. I took a final glance at her through the door and left to their house , packed her clothes and went back to my home. I was not going to let her leave my life just like that. Anyone could be a coward and let something go but I'm not it! Even if I am not, I won't stop trying until I bring out that part of myself . I'll do it for her...I'll do anything for her.
All of a sudden, the fear inside my mind seemed too shallow. I can summon the demons in me for her.
I decided to give her a little time alone ...away from me . I made calls to her professors and made every arrangements to make sure that she was getting a break in life.

....

They say that the strongest are the ones who has nothing .And sometimes, nothing to lose can also be a superpower ...