Birds Of War

Chapter Ten: Strategic Goodbyes

"How's the war going?" I ask him, looking up from my sewing. Patrik turns up to look at me from his usual spot. His forehead creases in thought and concern. 

"I'm not sure if I should tell you." He replies softy, "It's a risk." 

"You don't have to tell me any secrets" I pleaded, "just, who's winning? Is my Father and Henry alright?" I play with my blue engagement ring, twisting the band. 

"No one appears to be winning right now. And we believe your father and...fiancé to be alive." Patrik grimaces. 

I smile at him, "Thank you, it's frustrating not knowing." Patrik's eyebrows shoot up in surprise, as my gratefulness startles him. 

"How long have you been engaged to Henry?" Patrik looks at my ring, "He's much older than you." 

"About a year and he's not that much older than me, I'm twenty and he's thirty." I reply defensively. 

"Do you love him?" He looks at me, concern in his face. 

"Yes, I do." It was an arranged marriage, to unite our kingdoms. But I do love him.

"But it was arranged?" Patrik asks skeptically. "I thought you hated arranged marriages. You once told me that it was archaic." 

"Well, I've grown up now, I've matured. I understand that Umbra and Sapphirus uniting best for our people and all magical beings. It will win us the war." I stare out the window, "It's the best for all those involved." 

"Didn't your mother want you to marry for love?" I quickly turn to face Patrik, shock taking over my features. I don't like discussing my mother. 

"Nilsia, the time has come, you need to say goodbye." My uncle pats my shoulder. Tears stream down my face as I stare at her bedroom door. They open and I spot a small fragile woman laying on the bed. 

I walk closer, my feet dragging but I was desperate to see her. Long bright red locks create a halo around her head, making it appear like she's laying in a pool of blood. Her pale skin is clammy and her lips are chapped and lack any of the typical red color they have. 

I can't hold back any tears as I grab her cold hand. "Mum, just hold on please." 

"My darling" she croaks out, "I'm afraid I'm losing the battle." 

"Mum, please, I'll be sixteen in a week. Then I'll have my healing powers and I can heal you. Please, don't surrender." 

"Oh my love, I wish I could see you grow up more, you're already turning into such a beautiful young woman." She cups my cheek, "I wish I could be there at your graduation and wedding." 

"You still can! Please, don't give up, don't leave me." I cry out. 

"I'm afraid I've come to my end." 

"Please, mum" 

"Listen dear, I need you hear this." She says sternly, "Do not follow in your father's footsteps. Do not become his lackey, he will want to you use you. Marry you off and manipulate your powers. Do not let him, fight. I know you have a compassionate heart, please don't believe the things he says about the humans. I'm not going to be here to protect you, so you must protect yourself. Trust no one in this dreaded castle." She starts coughing into a white handkerchief stained with blood." 

"You can protect me if you stay!" I helplessly plead. 

"I love you Nilsia, with all my heart." Her coughing intensifies and blood spatters on the white sheets on the bed. "Good-goodbye" 

"No! You can't leave me! You just can't!" I weep in her arms as she slowly fades away. Arms wrap around me, trying to pry me out from her cold grasp. "NO! NO!" I desperately fight off the person trying to take me away. "She's not dead!" 

"Nilsia, stop being childish and accept it." My father's harsh voice hisses. My uncle picks me up, trying to avoid being struck while I thrash in his arms. 

"No! I can save her!" I desperately try to get out of his grasp while now in the hallway. 

"No you can't Nilsia." My father barked. 

"I'll be able to bring her back in a week!" I beg. 

My father shakes his head, "No, you can only resurrect one person and that is too valuable to waste." 

"Please father please!" A hand comes into straight contact with my cheek, causing me to lose balance. My dried eyes begin to water as my cheek throbs. 

"Royals do not beg Nilsia. It is weak. That is what the nutzlos do and no daughter of mine will act like a nutzlos." My father hisses. 

"I'm sorry father." 

I stare at Patrik, memories swirling in my head. Her last few words echo in my head. I twist the chain of my necklace around my neck. My mum gave it to me when I turned twelve. I love the way it changes it's ruby hue to a deep violet in the light. "Yes, she didn't want me to have an arranged marriage." I slowly concede, "But times have changed." 

He frowns, "Do you still miss her?" 

"Yes, yes I do." 

"How has your father been treating you?" Patrik changed the subject to an even more dreaded one. I meet his eyes that are filled with concern. 

"You don't need to worry about me Patrik." I sigh and turn back to my needlework. I'm making a red sweater as the room is desperately cold in the evenings. 

"Does Henry protect you from him?" I jerk up from my sweater, mouth gaped open. I don't want to lie, but I certainly do not want to tell the truth. 

"Why do you care?" 

Patrik sighs, "Because, despite what I did, I still care for you. I want you to be safe." 

"I am safe in Umbra." I hope that will stave off any more invasive questions. I really regret spilling my secrets to him those years ago, under the safety of the covers in my dorm bed.

"Are you safe in Imperius?" He questions, "You are a member, right?" 

"Yes. I'm in Imperius." Patrik frowns. 

"And you can live with ourself?" Patrik tries to cover his disdain for Imperius. 

"This is war Patrik, can anybody live with there-self?"