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What did I just do? Oh my god what did I just do? Oh my god I'm kissing Y/n? 'Come on Scaramouche let go! You can't do this!' But I just kept kissing her. Going against my own thoughts, I couldn't stop.
I finally parted from her lips catching my breath, looking at her. I was shocked and confused with myself as why I just did kissed her.
"I...I'm sorry. I shouldn't of done that. I should go." She looked at me confused, her mouth opening to say something but no words would come out.
"I thought you wanted this?"
"I do! Or I mean I did in the moment. But we can't go on like this Y/n, we can't be together, we can't be more than whatever type of friends we are."
"Oh. You know I said the same thing too but then you know you kissed me! and I just so randomly thought that meant that you didn't care! But now you're just saying what I said."
"Look Y/n, I do want you. I want us! Just something more than distant friends! I want to be by your side all the time, to comfort you, be happy with you, sad with you! But god it's impossible for us!"
"We already had to hide being friends Scara. I get it was already stressful enough for you, I don't want it to be more on you. But would a relationship be any worse?"
"I just, I don't want it to be too much for you. I can handle the pressure I'm an idol. I just don't want it to be too much for you."
"Don't worry about me, if I've already hid being friends with an idol. I think I can handle hiding a relationship with an idol." Is this really gonna happen? Am I ready for that? Is she?
"Are you sure?" She nodded, my heart starting beating faster. As an idol relationships are against my contract, I can't even remember the last public relationship I was in.
"Do you have practice tomorrow?" She went over to the tea that was boiling, pouring us both a cup to drink.
"Nahida gave me the day off because tour starts in 4 days. You're still going right?"
"Mhm, Hutao would probably kill me if I ditched her! And seeing you perform wouldn't be so bad.."
"Do you have plans tomorrow? Y'know maybe we could do something together?"
"That would be great, but I work from 2-9pm! So unless you want to spend the whole day at a coffee shop with me, I'm sorry."
"Hm. Maybe getting out wouldn't be so bad" she brought over the two drinks to the table, the both of us sitting back down.
"I was joking Scara, you don't have to spend the day at a coffee shop with me!"
"Why not? I have stuff I can work on, and it'll bring in new customers for you."
"*sigh* if you want to then fine, but you should really shower..you smell like a wet dog." I completely forgot I was drenched from the rain. But I couldn't help but feel mesmerized by her laugh and smile.
"But on the serious talk Scaramouche. What are we now? I mean we really didn't establish anything so I just don't want to get the wrong idea."
"Even if it'll be tough, I think we should be together. Like relationship together, I want to be someone important to you. Even if I haven't been the nicest to you."
"I'd like that." She had a cheeky smile spread on her face, I felt as if some pressure was lifted off my shoulders.
"Are you going home tonight?"
"I planned on it, but if you want me to. I could stay?" I kinda already planned it out, I wore comfortable clothing easy to sleep in. I had the day off tomorrow.
"That would be nice, it gets quiet here so maybe having the company will be nice. But seriously you need to shower or something. Do you have extra clothes or something?"
I also had a bag in my car..
"I have a bag in my car, y'know to be prepared."
"Then go get it, but take an umbrella with you this time. It's leaning against the shoe rack." I got up and grabbed the umbrella, then leaving her apartment to my car and grab my bag.
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I can't stop smiling, my heart can't stop racing. I think I'm going insane. Or hallucinating! Maybe none of this is real. Or maybe I really do have an idol as my boyfriend now. And it's not Choi Beomgyu (sadly)
I can tell Scaramouche doesn't understand his feelings, or at least doesn't know how to express himself or his feelings. But I can tell.
Am I worried about how this relationship is going to play out? A bit. What if someone will find out? Hidden relationships never end well, at least in the books. But something just feels different, I want to do everything I can to make sure this relationship stays good.
Scaramouche came back quickly with a bag, I showed him to the shower, he's lucky I had an extra set of male body wash from when Kazuha would stay over. While he showered I was figuring out where he would sleep for the night.
We ended up sharing my bed.
It was weird, the both of us agreed on that. But it was again comforting. A weird comforting.
- The next day -
I woke up the next morning feeling the breath of someone. When I figured it out, it was Scaramouche. I guess while we were asleep, the space between us closed and we ended up cuddling each other. Funny thing was, Scaramouche was slightly snoring. Not really much of an annoying sound, more breathy and air.
I woke up before him, I got to take a look at him while he was asleep. One of the only times I've seen him relaxed, at peace. He stilled looked so..beautiful. His hair was slightly covering his face.
This felt surreal, I didn't know if I should be worried or excited that I'm now dating an idol.
( A.n.
Omg guys I actually started writing my own book, like actual story from scratch. It's so fun I love it
