On The Ice

- Chapter 15 -

Sienna

Xavier messaged me multiple times during the period breaks. I didn't reply once.

In theory this looks like a really bad idea. I just need time away, if at the end of the week I still feel like I do now. I will need to talk to him. If not well I guess we know how this goes.

"You gonna answer that?" My phone is vibrating in my bag, the game finished 20 minutes ago. I'll feel bad if he's waiting for me.

"No, I'm sure it's a spam call." I throw my bag over my shoulder and head out of the locker rooms towards the car park.

Once I get to my car I make sure my phone is on silent and in the trunk of my car. I really don't want to have to listen to it.

He's away for the second half of this week, which will really help me out. He wont be here.

I think the idea sounds like a fucked up experiment which probably won't end up working in my favour. It'll be worth it though, probably.

I only say probably because if this backfires I'll look like the biggest asshole ever. I feel like shit now, never mind at the end of the week if he won't talk.

———————

It's been 2 days since the game. I thought he gave up calling me, he hasn't. I think he's just spreading out when he calls me.

I do feel really, really bad don't get my wrong. I'm not doing this to be an ass to him. I need to figure out how I feel and this is the best way to do it and I really do believe in that.

I don't have away games till the end of next week, which if this goes the way I want it to then we can actually spend a few days together.

He does have a game today so that'll get his mind off me for a few hours. By that I mean two, he'll message me during the period breaks. That I can guarantee.

I don't think anyone has noticed, not the gossip sites or anything. Which is shocking, when couples don't post one picture together at least once a day they're all over it. Nothing.

Today 13:42

Kayla : Get your ass on the phone to me now, we need to talk.

Sienna : what? Why what happened.

Kayla : call me.

What the fuck have I done now?

"You've got explaining to do." She looks so pissed, the last time she was like this was when we were seven and I stole her skates because she beat me at a skating contest. I was petty.

"Why now? Can't we do this later, I've got shit to do." I rest my forehead in my hand, not making eye contact with her.

"Definitely not."

"Give me an explanation to why exactly you're pissed at me?"

"Fake dating, seriously? I know you're petty and all that but really? You had to stoop that low?"

"Hold on. What?" Now I'm looking at her, a look of disbelief plastered across my face. We're so fucked now, as if we weren't before.

"You're not even dating him?"

"Where did you hear that?" I ask her, she scoffs and shakes her head at me.

"The place we heard everything else, I've come to realise that I can't believe it so I've asked you. I'm right, you won't deny it."

"We are, trust me." Liar.

I mean we might as well be. I've slept with him twice. That doesn't make it sound any better, huh?

"You're lying, I can't believe that I believed you."

"Ask him!" I tell her.

"How, he only follows you." Her arms are folded over each other and she's looking directly at me. I didn't want to speak to him, now I have to.

"I- I don't know?"

"Exactly." With that she ends the call. Now I'm officially shitting myself, what the fuck am I going to do now.

We weren't even faking it that long, how did they find out?

Yesterday

Xavier : you're scaring me!!!! Answer the phone!!!

Xavier : Sienna!!

Xavier : Sienna if you don't answer me by tomorrow I'll be at your house.

Xavier : let me know you're okay, at least?

Xavier : if I've upset you just let me know!

Today 14:01

Sienna : where are you?

Xavier : are you kidding me? Where have you been!

Sienna : just answer me I'm really not in the mood.

Xavier : fine, I'm at my house.

Sienna : see that was easy, wasn't it.

I probably could have said that nicer, he was being really concerned. I think I've fucked it.

I've fucked us, I don't want to do this anymore. I want to be with him so badly. What the hell was I thinking?

I grab my bag off the side table and head straight out the door to my car. I don't know if I can do this. I should go back inside.

No.

I need to be an adult for once.

I turn my car on and head towards the main road, if I turn back now I'll regret it. I know that. What if I regret going though?

I need to stop thinking like that, I'm really overthinking this.

In theory I could've walked, I would've had time to clear my head. However I would've probably turn back. I can't do that, not now. That's not fair to either of us.

I don't know how I'm going to act when I see him, I haven't ignored him purposely ever. We haven't even known each other that long, what are we thinking?

I'm going to go with it, however I'm feeling in the moment I'll act on it. Which sounds like a terrible idea. Mainly because it is.

I drive up to the gate of the estate he lives in and hand the guard my Id. He takes a quick look and waves me in, it's awfully easy to get in here.

I drive past all the over houses before pulling up to his. I sit in the car for a moment, mainly to think but also to breathe.

I really don't know what I'm doing here.

I get out my car, making sure to not slam the door just in case he hears me. Which seems pointless because he'll hear me knocking on the door.

"Sienna, holy fuck. You scared the shit out of me, where the hell have you been?" I shake my head at him, disapprovingly. "I'm asking the questions today."

I walk past him and head straight to the living room and sit on his couch. I look over to him and he leans against the door frame.

I give him a look to tell him to come over to me, something tells me this isn't going to be easy.