On The Ice

- Chapter 22 -

Xavier

I think if I say I'm pissed off I'd be lying. I'm really, really fucking angry. Why would she do that? I trusted her with my life, I didn't think she'd stoop so low.

She knew how I felt about cheating, I told her this when we first started dating. How hard is it to stay loyal to someone? Full circle, huh? I'm getting all the karma for my dads cheating.

Which is fucking annoying as it is, I also have Summer's mom at my throat all the time asking why I'm here and not at home. Well I don't think I can call it home anymore.

I'm not going to kick her out, I can guess that is what she's expecting me to do and trust me if it was anyone else I would. It's just her, y'know? We were engaged, it's not like a two month relationship that I wouldn't have even counted.

I just don't know what I'm going to do when I have to go back to San Jose. I probably won't go to my house, it's too soon. I'll probably go over while she's on the road and collect some stuff but I definitely won't stay there. I can't do that, it's pretty much her house now and I know I'd start breaking down.

Which is something I refuse to do so I broke up with her. I wasn't going to sit here and watch her make excuses while I know she was lying. It's so fucking predictable, why do I constantly trust people who are going to cheat?

I genuinely don't understand, but like I said it's full circle. I pay for the douchebags mistakes while he rots in the grave.

"Avier, can we talk?" I don't think I've left the room since I've gotten here I haven't eaten much and my head is still pounding. I have pills and shit sure but I don't think they're helping.

"Do we have to, Summer? I appreciate it and all but I'm really not in the mood." I don't have the energy to look her way, I haven't touched my phone at all and I think it's been dead for days. I'd much rather keep it that way, I might end up getting a new number.

That's just wishful thinking I think we all know that I probably won't do that.

"I think you need to. This isn't good, I mean I don't really know but you need to talk to someone. That's that my therapist said anyways."

"Since when did you have a therapist?" Now I'm sat up, that isn't something I knew. "A while, but that's really not the point." Let's put it this way shes definitely mature for her age but that's because she's seen things she definitely shouldn't have seen.

"I do think you should talk to her."

"Nope, not happening." Now this shit sounds familiar.

"Avier, please. It'll do you some good." She's insistent but I'm too stubborn. "She called me, y'know?"

"Sienna called you?" Why the fuck would she do that, Summer doesn't need to be involved. She may have told me but that's as far as it goes. "Do you not think that's unnecessary?" I ask her.

"I mean, maybe? I didn't really think about it at the time, again not the point. Stop putting it off, you can't just ghost her forever."

"I mean I could."

"Xavier!"

"Okay, okay. I'm shutting up now." I sigh, raising my hands in defeat before laying down again. "I only say this because I care about you. You know that right."

"Of course I do Summer, it's just too soon."

"No it's not, eventually it'll be too late. It's nearly her birthday, go see her or even call her." She suggests, I don't really think I'll be the birthday gift she was expecting and I don't want to be.

"You said you got her something?"

"Obviously I did, she just won't get it."

"Xavier, you need to stop. I get your stubborn but this wrong. You are wrong." She says harshly and I sit up again.

"How do you know? She's the same all the girls I've ever dated are the same. You haven't dated anyone, you're eleven."

"Again not the fucking point."

"Again, language." I tell her and she rolls her eyes. She's getting pissed off and that's exactly what I want to do. She'll leave me alone eventually.

"I get what you're trying to do, I'm not leaving until you do something. Even if it's a text." She says and I sigh loudly, running my hands over my face. I don't have the patience for this.

"Just ask her how she is, that's all I'm asking you to do."

"Easier said then done."

"Okay, now you're just being painful. I'm going to call her." She starts to turn around to leave and I stop her.

"Fine, I'll message her. Just don't call her, okay? I don't want you getting involved anymore then you should be."

"Thank you, avier. Believe me it'll be worth it." Then she leaves I don't know what to do now, I promised her but I can't talk to her I don't even know what to say.

I only regret one thing, comparing her to Marie. That's not fair, I just felt to much in the moment. I was getting released from the hospital and had to book a flight and shit. Probably doesn't excuse anything but I needed to say something. She hurt me.

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Today 14:22

Sienna : I promised myself I wouldn't text you but I just want to know if you're okay, health wise.

Sienna : I want to explain what actually happened, if you'd let me.

Sienna : I love you more then anything, I hoped you knew that.

Sienna : I'm sorry I'm going now.

That's the first thing I saw when my phone turned on, I waited till the next day but Summer was at my again this morning so I caved.

I still don't know what to say, sure? No it still feels to early.

Today 18:10

Xavier : we can talk.

Sienna : thank you.

I was blunt sure but what else was I supposed to say? I forgive you? No, I still don't know what happened.

Sienna : are we going to do it over the phone or should I fly over?

Xavier : don't fly over, you have a game tomorrow there's no point.

Sienna : no point?

Xavier : I'll just call you later.

I don't want her to fly over, two reasons, one is because she genuinely has a game tomorrow, I think she had one today too. And two I just can't see her in person right now.

I do think I need to FaceTime her though, I need to see her expressions. She can lie with her voice but her face isn't very good at hiding stuff.

I'll just call her tonight if she's still awake, if she's anything like me she won't be able to fall asleep. Because trust me I haven't.

I'm dreading this.